A Servant's Heart: Self-Centered to God-Centered

If you are like me, you have spent a great deal of time sorting through the keys of life, attempting to find one that would unlock the truth in our pursuit of happiness. Just skim through the New York Times Best Sellers list and you will find book titles such as “7 Steps to True Happiness”, “Awakening the Joy Within”, and “True Living”. Needless to say, we crave happiness. We hunger for it. We thirst for it. But, happiness is temporal. It is a fleeting emotion. It flies in one moment, perches on the branch of our hearts, and just as quickly, flies out, leaving us in a state of disappointment or grief.

Joy, on the other hand, is an attitude. It perpetuates in our lives as a fruit of the Spirit (Reference Galatians 5:22-23). Joy is indicative of our walk with Christ. This is not to say, however, we will never experience sadness. We are human. We feel pain, we bleed, we hurt, we cry. This is all subject to our existence here on earth. However, when we hold on to these emotions, our focus shifts from the external situation to us, resulting in self-pity and self-centeredness.

I am going to share with you my personal testimony of the work God has been doing in me recently. About a year ago, I was heading down a destructive path, an egoistic lifestyle. I was obsessed with my career, my finances, and my happiness. Notice everything I was concerned about involved me! Scripture states, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall" (Proverbs 16:18). Well, in my case, pride eventually pulled the rug right out from under me and saluted me off as I tumbled down a spiral stairwell headed towards rock bottom. I hit it and I hit it hard. Other people noticed it before I did. It took some time but eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was suffering from depression. Like the bird of happiness I illustrated earlier, its wicked stepsister flew in with the same ease, only it had no plans to leave. This sinister black crow made a nest within my mind. It laid eggs of irrational thoughts, causing much grief, sadness, doubt, and confusion. The crow was my oppressor, holding me captive and force-feeding me lies. I spent hours on end trying to pick the lock, praying for a release and relief from the never-ending confusion that had my mind tied up in knots. Not too long after, family members intervened. I received a little help with medication, and a lot of strength from the Lord.

The woman writing this blog today is grateful to say that she was set free from her captor! I know I wouldn’t be where I am now without the grace of God and His obedient children (my brothers and sisters) who opened their arms and embraced my tear-stained cheeks upon their shoulders, spent several nights listening and encouraging me over long, drawn out telephone conversations, and sent up countless prayers to the heavens, interceding on my behalf. For you, my precious family and friends, I am ever so grateful. “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you” (Philippians 1:3).

As my mind healed, my heart healed along with it. My perspective on life changed. I know now that God allowed me to go through this test as part of the growth process. He was carving out and discarding all of the junk I had acquired through the years. This in turn made room for His Sprit to dwell within me. In place of pride, He poured humility. All of my selfish ambitions fell away and the only true righteousness I was living for was to be of service to God. From that point on, I went back into work, striving for excellence, with a new found direction, putting aside my will and taking on His. I can’t begin to tell you all of the valuable lessons I learned since then. Instead of concerning myself with what I had or didn’t have, I was grateful that God spared me from spending one more day without Him.

There is not enough room in our hearts for the abundant joy that fills it when we serve and sow into the lives of others. When I took myself out of the equation (an act of humility) and readied myself to be used by God, I watched Him move in ways unimaginable. To this day, I witness peoples’ lives transform all around me just because I was available. When we are too consumed with ourselves, we leave no room for God to do His part. God honors a cheerful giver, not only of finances, but of time, of resources, of energy, and of talents. Just for spending myself, investing time laboring in His kingdom, He honored me with joy and introduced me to a happiness I never met before.

I joked about this with a friend, but I’ve had desires to write a self-motivational book of my own. The problem is that I would have nothing to say beyond the first line: “True contentment results from a choice we make to be less “me-centered” and more “God-centered”. Believe me, no book claiming to hold all of the secrets to happiness in this world, could expose this truth to you the way the Bible can. David had a heart for the Lord and was blessed beyond measure. Job faithfully praised God through all of his tests. Above all, Jesus was the epitome of “godliness with contentment”. Scripture speaks against selfish ambition which we can apply to the prosperity gospel that is being taught nowadays as “useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself. Now godliness with contentment is great gain” (1Timothy 6:5-6). Godliness is not a means to an end. Our motivation should be pure, with God as the central focus. The problem with such teachings is that it validates the wants of our heart. But remember as Jeremiah 17:9 reveals, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” As I mentioned to you before, I was prideful without even knowing it. I was giving in to the plea of my heart without realizing its falsehood. But the Lord, our Redeemer, stepped in and reminded me of such a simple, but monumental truth-- His ways are above my ways.

Matthew 6:33 states, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” This scripture is not referring to material reward. It is referring to God’s provision in righteousness and supplication of our needs, not our wants. I am sure you are familiar with the book of Job and the horrific trials he endured. Something important to note is summed up in one line towards the end of this book. It states in Job 42:10, “And the Lord restored Job’s losses when he prayed for his friends”. Job’s test of faith runs parallel to the scripture found in Matthew 6:33. It isn’t until we take the focus off of ourselves and place it upon others, as a reflection of servitude to God, that we will find contentment, restoration, and peace.

In conclusion, dear readers, ponder this: We are called to die to self daily. As often as we hear this in our walk with Christ, I pray we dismiss our self-centeredness and adopt a new attitude of joy that is a byproduct of the work God is doing in us and through us, provided we let Him. We grieve the Spirit and aggravate ourselves when our purpose in life is to appease our fleshly desires. But, wow, the magnitude of splendor, the empowerment, and the contentment that awaits us when our pursuit of happiness is spent in service and in search of God’s heart. That is pure bliss!

God bless you, brothers and sisters. Until next time, be encouraged!