Do You Love Me?

I have always enjoyed Mother's Day even before I became a mom. I look forward to watching my mother's eyes well up with tears of joy as she reads every last word I pen in adoration of her inside primrose adorned Hallmark cards. Now that my son is old enough to understand the meaning of the holiday, I was privileged this past Mother's Day to receive a card addressed to me. I gripped it, as soon as it reached my hands, with anticipation to read all that he poured out from his ingenuous seven year-old heart. I wondered at that moment if tears perspiring from an overjoyed heart would well up in my eyes as my mother's did. I wondered if my son would wear a smile on his face as he watched me read and reread all the various ways He chose to say I love you. Well, I can tell you now, this child is good! He began by writing down his appreciation for all the things we do together. He shared how he loves that we sing together, do homework together, and read together. He loves that we have long talks together and how there is no better time than now for us to discuss his problems, even the drama going on between two friends in his 2nd grade class! At the very bottom of this list, he wrote what summed up everything he was trying to say, "I love that you make time for me". That was where I lost it! The tears started forming like the drip of a leaky faucet and they couldn't be stopped. I'm not quite sure that I wanted them to. This was a precious moment that I desired to savor, wrapping him up in arms that were melting like butter.

Prior to this Mother's Day, I spent many days contemplating my effectiveness as a parent. I wondered if I was spending enough time with my son, doing enough for him, teaching him enough, or disciplining him enough. I wondered when was enough? I picked up a book from the Christian bookstore months ago that claimed to hold all of the secrets to raising boys. But, after thumbing through the first few pages, it dawned on me, there is no greater manual on the topic of parenting than the Manual inspired by God. Jesus is the Word and the Word is a lamp to our feet. Therefore, spending time in God's word illuminates our path and provides us the best possible solution in every situation. In the case of parenting, The Bible is rich with examples of God's love for His children. One, of which, involves Jesus' disciple, Peter.

We can think of our role as a parent much like a shepherd. Peter tells the elders in the church, "Shepherd the flock of God, which is among you, serving as overseers, not by compulsion but willingly, not for dishonest gain but eagerly; nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock..." (1 Peter 5:2-3). We are entrusted with the care of precious souls and in the likeness of a shepherd, we are called to oversee their welfare willingly and eagerly, leading them by example. We are not called to inflict harsh judgement or place high demands on them. At the end of the day, they are but children. That is something I now try to keep in mind whenever my son doesn't measure up to my unachievable standards of perfection. I'm not perfect and there are countless ways I don't measure up in the eyes of God. Nonetheless, He offers us unconditional love, knowing our frailty. He extends grace and mercy, reminding us of our complete dependence on Him. None of this comes with a price tag because it was paid for in full by the blood of Jesus. As a result, we no longer have to strive for our Father's acceptance, but receive it undeservingly. It is in this love that we find rest. It is in this love that we are called to love others--with or without reciprocation. Our children may fail us, but our love should never fail them. There is an old adage that states, "Home is where the heart is". A home built on the foundation of Christ is infused with the scent of forgiveness and the walls are accented with warm smiles. In the home is where our children form healthy attachments. And to the home, their hearts will guide them, no matter how far they stray, secure with the knowledge that there is an open door and open arms waiting to receive them.

Peter, a faithful follower of Christ, was blessed to witness Jesus during His earthly ministry. He followed close behind Jesus like a child clinging on to his father's coattail. He believed in Jesus' sovereignty, worshiped Him as the Son of God, and loved Him with all his heart. But, his actions on a few occasions suggested otherwise. We all might remember the account written in scripture regarding Peter's invitation to walk on water. As he drew near to Jesus in the middle of the sea, he began to fear. Jesus addresses him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" (Ref Matthew 14:22-33). When our children discount our authority or doubt our advice, do we become discouraged as parents? We can refer to Jesus as an example in His dealings with Peter. Jesus takes Peter and two other disciples with him to the Garden of Gethsemane in order to keep watch while He prayed. Jesus returns to Peter and the two other disciples three times only to find them asleep. He singles out Peter, "What? Could you not watch with Me one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:40-41). Christ admonishes Peter just like a father chastens his son, reminding him to be on guard lest he fall into temptation. All of this was worthwhile instruction that Peter failed to adhere to. Peter's spirit was obviously willing, otherwise he wouldn't have dedicated his life to following Christ. But, the flesh, being weak, led him into the temptation of denying Jesus three times. Have you given your children strict orders to abide by but they are dull of hearing? Do you find your child in a spiritual slumber? Much like our children, Peter heard but did not heed the warning. He indeed falls into the temptation of betraying the Man he loved dearly. As we read further in Matthew 26:69-75, we can almost feel the guilt simmering in his veins to a quick boil. He first swears with an oath that he doesn't know Jesus. Then he curses those who accuse him of knowing Him. As soon as he hears the rooster crow, however, he is reminded that Jesus predicted this betrayal. In the turmoil of deep despair, he weeps bitterly. This is what sin does. It opens us up to the wide range of fleshly emotions--causing confusion, chaos, and finally guilt. I think we can attest to witnessing this in the behavior of our children when they know they have done wrong. But, it is our response to their wrongdoing that holds the most weight. We will soon come to find how Jesus responds to Peter after the betrayal.

Peter must have had this experience in mind when he wrote to his brethren in 1 Peter 5:8-9, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world." As a good shepherd, Peter exhorts the church to resist the devil, as he failed to do when he betrayed Jesus. There is no greater witness to Christ's deliverance than drawing from our own testimonies. We can refer to our testimonies, with discretion of course, when advising our children. Peter continues by praying, "But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you" (1 Peter 5:10). Peter experienced firsthand the grace of God soon after Jesus had risen from the dead. I can only imagine the emotional state Peter was in, perhaps distressed and burdened with grief, not only for losing Jesus, but even worse, for betraying Him. Nonetheless, when Jesus returns, He summons Peter and asks him three times, "Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?" (John 21:16). Peter answers in the affirmative all three times using a less emphatic word for love. You see, Jesus expressed agape love, a self-sacrificing love, but Peter couldn't respond to Him in the same manner. However, soon Peter would come to know the love of Christ by receiving the Holy Spirit.


Jesus admonishes Peter on a few occasions recorded in the gospels, but in this particular scene, we see the love of God pouring out over all of his shame, guilt, and iniquity. 1 John 3:20 states, "For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things". Jesus knew the condition of Peter's heart. He knew his spirit was willing, but his flesh was weak. This is true for all of us. God wants us to repent of our sins, but this is not an isolated event. The process of repentance begins with a work of agape love in our hearts. I like to picture each time Peter professed his love for Jesus as a wave that brushed upon the shore of his heart, washing away the crimson stain of betrayal, and with it, guilt and shame. If you notice, Jesus never points out Peter's sin. He has not come to condemn Peter, He has come instead to establish His presence in Peter's life. His love for Him hasn't failed. He desires to settle his heart and strengthen him for the journey ahead. We come to find that these are the very things Peter prays for over the church in 1 Peter 5:10. Jesus commissioned Peter to shepherd His flock. Peter would soon become one of the great apostles who established the early church. In what ways, have you given up on your children? Are you encouraged in knowing that Jesus never gave up on Peter, regardless of his imperfections? Peter should serve as a great reminder to all of us of God's unfailing love.


"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this, all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:34-35). Jesus, of course, is our perfect example of love. Scripture tells us, "By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren" (1 John 3:16). This new commandment given to us by Christ should not be taken lightly. It is with good reason that love is esteemed above any gift, such as knowledge or prophecy. It profits all. Take our role as parents, for example, what good does it do if we only share with our children our knowledge of right from wrong? How much more would it profit them, other family members, as well as a community of onlookers by displaying simple gestures of love? We are to shower others in agape love so that they may come to know Christ working through you.

I realize that I do not stand in my own ability as a parent. I surrender my authority as a mother to the working of the Holy Spirit. For without it, I know that I will fail. I intend to fill my home with the sweet aroma of Christ' love. I intend to spend quality time with my son because there is nothing sweeter than to hear how much he enjoys the time we share. I intend to allow room for error just as Jesus extended mercy upon Peter. I intend to humble myself before my child, admitting my mistakes and asking for his forgiveness. For in this, I pray to set an example of Christ's humility. In this, I pray that he will have an authentic representation of God. And when I am at my wit's end, I pray that God will remind me of my frailty and that His love has never changed for me. "Where [my] sin abounded, [His] grace abounded much more" (Romans 5:20). May this grace and agape love flow from my heart to the heart of my child so that one day when he ventures off into the world, he will remember that home is where the heart is and here he will always find a place where he belongs. May God bless you and keep you, my brothers and sisters. And when you wrap your arms around your little ones, may they feel the warmth of Christ's love. Agape hugs! <3