Out of the Heart Spring the Issues of Life

The past few days have proved a bit challenging as I've watched my heart undulate up and down on an emotional roller coaster ride, all while desperately clinging on for dear life! It began after receiving news that someone whom I consider family was admitted to the hospital due to trauma in the brain. The uncertainty of his medical condition daunts the hearts and minds of family and friends. In one of my visits to the hospital, I walked out after saying goodbye and despair filled my chest, his helpless form etched in my mind. Instead of trusting in God's word and His promises, I was leaning on my own understanding, acting in the flesh, and assessing the situation based on the circumstances. My emotions were contradicting God's word as doubt seeped into my mind. How did I let my emotions rule me in this way? I realized that I was certainly not surrendered to the Holy Spirit as the fruits of the Spirit were not evident in this situation. The Lord spoke to me, "My child, tame your mind"!

Yesterday, I attended bible study as part of my Thursday morning routine and afterwards listened attentively to the lecture that ensued. The woman who conducts the lecture wears a warm smile and serves up a word enriched with wisdom every week. This particular week, she focused on Hebrews 3 and then addressed something that I desperately needed to hear. I realized at that moment how important it was that I was there (despite every attempt I made to mope around the house earlier that morning). She spoke about entering God's rest.

The book of Hebrews was written to Jewish Christians in order to encourage them in the faith. Hebrews 3 reminds them to not rebel against the word of God as their ancestors did in the wilderness for forty years. Their rebellion gave way to a hardened heart and as a result they never entered the promised land of Canaan. The author encourages his audience just as the Lord encourages us this day, "Today, if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion" (Hebrews 3:15). We were prompted by the bible study teacher to make a choice TODAY to turn to God's place of rest. In order to do that, we must be conscious about our thoughts. We were reminded that a drifting mind can lead to doubting of God's word, which in turn hardens the heart. Where did the Israelites drift in their minds? They began to romanticize about the past, a life of bondage in Egypt. If they kept their minds fixed on God's promise, they would have entered God's rest, the promised land, in eleven days, rather than forty years! We are not to allow our minds to escape into the past, fixated upon what once was, nor should we entertain shifty thoughts that engage our attention to and fro. We are to be centered on Christ, asking the Holy Spirit to lead us in our thoughts. If we choose to neglect the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we in turn escape the temporal blessing of rest God offers us while we are here on this earth.

Now you might ask, spiritually speaking, what is the difference between the heart and the mind? Our mind dictates what we do when met with a particular circumstance. Our heart is our emotional response to this choice. As I mentioned earlier, the Lord instructed me through prayer that I must tame my mind as the emotional unrest I was experiencing was a result of a thought process diverging from God's word. Jesus is my proper focus. If I had managed the circumstance I faced appropriately, focusing on God's Word and His report, rather than my own, I would have found peace. Scripture tells us to "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life" (Proverbs 4:23 NKJV). Other translations of the bible state "Guard your heart...". As I mentioned earlier, our hearts gauge the climate of our minds and pour out the emotion that culminates as a result of our thought process.

How then do we guard our hearts? Proverbs 16:3 states, "Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established". Strong's concordance defines the word "commit" as "to roll, roll down, roll away, remove". The word is used several times throughout the Bible, encouraging believers to roll our works into God's care. We must work at committing our minds to Christ. If we surrender our minds to His care, then our "thoughts will be established". Our thoughts will be evidence of a sound mind centered on Christ. Naturally, the heart is then guarded because our thoughts are safe within the peace of Christ, the peace that surpasses all understanding! How might a heart respond to a mind at peace? It would be calm and at rest. This is the rest God offers us if we diligently seek it.

I am finally at peace with my circumstances and encouraged to write this blog in hopes that it may bless the lives of others who too might be experiencing spiritual and emotional unrest. I pray that the Lord will reveal to you the gravity of centering our minds on Christ. If we drift away in our thoughts, our hearts will reveal it. So, let us be diligent in seeking God's rest as He has offered it to those who commit their thoughts to Him. As a result, we will sense a protective coat covering our hearts, shielding us from the woes of despair, confusion, and bitterness. If you are in doubt of whether or not you have entered God's rest, honestly gauge your behavior and emotions with that of the fruits of the spirit (ref Galatians 5:22-23). Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you into His rest, and be surrendered, allowing yourself to feel every emotion, but trusting that it is only temporary. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." (Psalm 30:5) Be encouraged this week! May God bless you and keep you in His perfect peace!

Seek and You Shall Find

I once dreamt of a blind man who was imprisoned inside a wired fence. He wore silver hair that glistened much like the surface of the sea when illuminated at the break of dawn. The sun, like a spotlight, focused down upon him as he danced for freedom, I assume to the beat of his heart. I realized at this moment that the gated fence standing firm and tall was on either side of him, and I was perplexed as to why he didn't leave as nothing blocked him from moving forward. I encouraged him to walk towards me and dip his toes in the ocean, where I stood. But, he didn't. I then drifted further away from him out to sea and prayed a simple prayer, "Lord, let him see."

I was reminded of this dream earlier today while reading about the two blind men who received their sight in Matthew 20:29-34. As the story goes, Jesus was leaving Jericho with a great multitude of people following him. Along the way, two blind men were sitting by the side of the road. When they got wind of Jesus' whereabouts, they cried out, "Have mercy on us, O Lord, Son of David" (Matthew 20:30). The crowd heard this and tried to silence them, but the two blind men desperately cried out again, "Have mercy on us, O Lord, Son of David" (Matthew 20:31). Jesus then stops in his tracks and calls to them, "What do you want Me to do for you?" (Matthew 20:32). They requested that their eyes be opened. As this story concludes, scripture reveals that Jesus had compassion for them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received sight and followed Him.

My heart is overwhelmed with joy for these two blind men. Not only did they receive their sight both physically and spiritually, but their story illuminates a simple truth--God honors a desperate heart who earnestly seeks Him. In Matthew 7:7-8, Jesus states, "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened." Despite the rebuke of the crowd, the two blind men did not lose heart. They were determined to receive healing. They asked not once, but twice for the Lord's mercy. It was the second time around that Jesus was compelled to stop what He was doing and attend to their requests. These two men demonstrated action behind belief. They sought the Lord and then made their requests known. As a result, Jesus revealed Himself in all of His authority.

Many of us are hungering for truth. We may skim through the pages of the bible in hopes that something might stick. But, lukewarm faith isn't a part of God's design. Pray, before you enter God's word, that the Holy Spirit would make the living word alive to you. If you desire to know more about the Lord, be diligent in seeking Him, for He has promised to reveal Himself to those who pursue Him. In addition, in the same manner as the two blind men who cried out to Jesus, make your requests known to God. It's not that God doesn't already know the desires of our hearts. He knows everything about us, down to the last strand of hair upon our heads. But, think about it this way, how will a door be opened for someone who desires to be let in, if he or she doesn't knock? James 4:2 tells us, "You do not have, because you do not ask". Something is to be said of a man (or woman) who fervently prays and desperately seeks God's face daily. In doing so, we are admitting to Him that we can't make it through this journey of life alone; we need His supernatural strength to see us through.

When I think back on the dream I had, I wanted so badly for the blind man to abandon his captor, if only he would take action and literally "step" out on faith. However, I realize now, I couldn't want it for him. He would have to make that decision for himself. All I could do (and the best I could do) is pray. I wonder if the man still dances for freedom. Or perhaps, he has been enlightened by the only One sent to set the captives free. I pray the latter is true for all of us who feel imprisoned, much like the blind man. I pray we live abundantly, abandoning the confines of our own demise. Just keep asking, seeking, and knocking, and in so doing, BE ENCOURAGED that God's word is true and it does not return void.

"It's Complicated"

Facebook coined the phrase, "It's complicated", which in turn, became popularized through the media. People use the phrase to make light of serious, deep-seated issues that have an adverse affect on our ability to form healthy relationships. Oftentimes, this is the response you hear when an individual is invested in someone else's life and the boundaries are undefined. "It's complicated" suggests feelings of doubt and frustration due to lack of communication, resulting in misconceptions of expectations on behalf of both parties. I can imagine the burden that weighs upon a heart buried within the confines of confusion. And even if we decide that the shoe doesn't fit, oftentimes, as creatures of habit, we reattach ourselves to "it's complicated" status updates, in a vicious cycle that proves itself defeated every time, but still waits with hope that miraculously one day our news feed will read, "in a relationship" or "married".

Now, I'm not here to offer relationship advice. Lord knows I have no authority on that subject! However, what I do want us to think about is how an "it's complicated" mentality translates into our relationship with God. I remember when I became born-again, a new creation in Christ, I was filled with a burning passion and desire for the Lord. I describe it as pure love. Strong's concordance defines the Greek word for pure (eilikrines) as "tested by sunlight". The very same word can be used to describe something unadulterated by a foreign substance. In the New Testament, "pure" is used in a moral and ethical sense, defining someone or something as devoid of falsehood and hidden motives; genuine and flawless. Now imagine a love interest you have or once had. How would you describe your first encounter with him or her? You probably didn't know anything about the other person aside from your attraction to them. However, when conversations ensue, both verbal and nonverbal, a skewed or tainted image about the individual is formed based on your past experiences. If you care to purse him or her any further, pressure may escalate as a result. You might feel as though you must perform a certain way in order to maintain the affections of the other party. This is a subconscious process that takes place when forming attachments.

1 Peter 2:2-3 states, "as newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious". When God wooed my heart, I came to Him like a child. I knew nothing about Him, an infant in my understanding. Yet, when I look back, that was the deepest I ever felt God's love. I tasted the purity of a love that conquers sin--a love that desired me just the way I am, flaws and all. Instantaneously, I wanted to know more about the pursuer of my heart. I began to feed on His word, but not with simplicity of heart, rather with all of the preconceived notions I carried in my back pocket. My perceptions of God were shaped by my experiences. The various male figures in my life played a part in this process. I complicated an otherwise effortless, stress-free relationship because I didn't understand the concept of receiving love without the need to reciprocate it. In addition, fear of neglect (due to a past abusive relationship), kicked in and facilitated works-based thinking. I believed that I had to perform at my utmost potential and constantly work at this relationship so that He (God) wouldn't leave me or be upset with me. You can imagine the pressure I felt, concerned that my every move was magnified by a heavenly microscope. I have now come to realize that I never fully accepted God's grace.

Scripture reveals to us in 2 Peter 1:2, "Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord". If we are gaining our knowledge and understanding of the Lord based on how others define Him or if our study of Him is external to His word, we will not bear the fruits of grace and peace in our lives. In turn, we will walk in the yoke of bondage. We've all heard this scripture to no avail, but I encourage each of us to meditate on it, asking God to reveal this truth in our lives, [Jesus states] "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light" (Matthew 11:30). Jesus calls us to come to Him like children for this very reason. When we were infants in our faith, how much more understanding did we have of God's love, before the human mind complicated it? "Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it" (Mark 10:15). We can experience the richness and fullness of God's kingdom here on earth if we understand this basic principle. It is a simple truth for those who have childlike faith.

God's love for us has no strings attached. It is simple. It is pure. It requires nothing from you. This revelation surpasses our understanding. Think briefly upon the ways in which you might have complicated your relationship with God. Pray that He would liberate you from futile thinking. All the while, seek His will through His word, aligning your knowledge with that of which is revealed to you. Not only will this free you from religious bondage, but it will aid you in developing and experiencing healthy attachments to other people.

It is freeing to know God's grace and I can assure you that if we accept it into our hearts, it would manifest through us and into the lives of others. It is the lack of grace that hinders us from loving one another. 1 Peter 2:22 states, "Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart, having been born again, not of corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and abides forever". We don't have a shot at establishing lasting, fruitful relationships with others if we cling on to our corrupt, old way of thinking. If we are truly born again, then we must understand the gift of grace, the love that was shown to us regardless of our sin, shame, and flaws. If we meditate on the truth of the gospel, we might start to break down the walls of hurt, promoting a love that penetrates our inner-being, instructing us how to love others, while allowing others to love us. Perhaps then, we might start to see a decline in Facebook relationship status updates that read "it's complicated". Nothing is complicated about God. When it starts to be, I suggest we cry out, "More of You and less of me!"

A Cup of Comfort

Today a cloud looms over the city, shedding tear drops of rain and bellowing from its belly a tormented roar, as thunder and lightening pierce through the eerily still morning sky. I step outside with my son in toe, jump into my car to transport him safely to the bus stop and all the while my heart stirs in my chest. There is nothing unusal about this feeling. Matter of fact, I experience it every morning as I watch the school bus swiftly pass me by, carrying my little one down the street and around the corner, finally diminishing into a faint yellow blur. It is then that I pick up my heart from the pit of my stomach, praying for the Lord's protection over him, until he arrives safely back into my arms.

This particular morning, after completing the routine, I get back into my vehicle and turn up the radio to one of my favorite gospel stations. I decide to take an extra lap around my neighborhood, engrossed by the conversation going on between the on-air personality and the caller. The caller is a mother of a recently deceased thirteen year-old girl. Between periods of sobbing, she attempts to verbalize a letter that was written to her by a nurse who took care of her terminally-ill child. The nurse starts off by thanking the mother for the opportunity to spend time with her daughter. She beautifully depicts a few fond memories and light pierces through every word, into my heart. As the mother reads on, her mourning flows out from a deep pit of despair and peaks into a brief period of joy as she reminisces upon the indescribable attributes of her daughter. She says, "I couldn't even dream up a more precious child even if I tried."

I can't even begin to imagine her loss and for a moment I experience guilt. I had no right to feel the sink hole that formed in the center of my chest. In just a matter of hours, my son will return home safely to me. But, this woman weeping on the other side of my stereo system doesn't have that luxury. How badly I want to wrap my arms around her, invite her into my home, and offer her a warm cup of comfort. I don't even so much as know her name, but I feel compelled to pray beyond the barrier of unfamiliarity, for in Christ she is my sister.

Mark 5:4 states, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Mourning comes in all shapes and forms. We may weigh out our losses in comparison with others. However, in God's eyes, our mourning is of equal value. We are all offered the same portion of comfort from His cup. All He asks of us is to receive it.

I encourage you, readers, to find somebody today who could use a warm cup of comfort. Stretch out your arms to them, invite them into your homes, and pour over them all the love God channels through you. We are called to be a body who encourages and edifies one another in His love. Are we worthy of this call? Are you willing to take the time out of your busy schedule to help a brother or sister in need? For those who are on the receiving end, please do not hide or shy away from the Source of comfort. I know sometimes we prefer to be alone in our despair, but there is love abounding, just waiting for you to accept the offer. As for the bereaved woman whose voice is forever etched on my heart, I pray that one day soon, your tears of sorrow will be replaced with tears of joy. You shall be comforted and it is here that the healing begins. I pray you do not allow His cup to pass your lips!

The Fruition of Our Divine Vision

In my previous blog, I encouraged us all to redeem the time in which we live, imagining our lives as six months and counting, each day like the minute hand moving swiftly around the clock. I hope by now we all realize the importance of clinging on to our divine dreams, sharing them with others, and making a conscious effort to silence the mundane distractions that get in the way. I mentioned that sometimes we lay our dreams down to rest, unattended and malnourished due to neglect. We let them hide in the shadow of our fear--fear of failure, lack of resources, or going against the grain. We are human, therefore we are of common mind, an easy target for prey if not careful. Society and the media feed us lies that entice us to compromise and take the alternative route when God's promise seems so distant. We may be tempted to look to our right or left, intrigued by what our neighbors have and desiring it all the more. In our efforts to keep up with the Joneses or at least fit in with them, we lose sight of what God says we need. We become impatient and frustrated with our present circumstances until finally we jump on to the next best thing. We are a generation that could use a lesson or two on what scripture refers to as "longsuffering". Sometimes when we are waiting on God to move, our patience is tested. It can feel like a long, drawn-out, painful process, but it is well worth the wait!

Through all of our tarrying, God reminds us that there is encouragement in His word. An example of this is found in 1 Samuel 3. We are introduced to a young boy named Samuel who was physically called out by God and "established as a prophet of the Lord" (1 Samuel 3:20). The first word Samuel received from the Lord pertained to Eli, a priest whom he served personally in his childhood ministry. This comes at a time when prophetic ministry was not very prevalent. Scripture states "And the word of the Lord was rare in those days; there was no widespread revelation" (1 Samuel 3:1). The Lord explained that judgement would be placed on Eli's household for the sins that his sons committed. After receiving this word, Samuel was afraid to share this information with Eli. When we consider the nature of the circumstance, I believe it is safe to assume Samuel was fearful for two reasons. Firstly, he may have been concerned that Eli wouldn't believe him. Secondly, he wanted to protect Eli from the news.

Some vital points can be drawn out of this passage in the bible. For one, we can associate ourselves with Samuel in a way that helps us understand what he may have been going through at the time. It is not often that our ears are in tune to receiving a confirmed word from the Lord. We oftentimes brush aside a prophetic vision or a calling out of fear of the unknown. We might question ourselves in various ways. How might others perceive the news? What if I step out on faith and fail? What will people think if I pursue a dream the Lord has placed on my heart? Samuel feared at first to share the news to Eli, but he was obedient. He hid nothing from him. The verse following states, "So Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him and let none of his words fall to the ground" (1 Samuel 3:19). We need to remember that despite our present circumstances, no matter how far off or impossible the dream may seem, His words will never fall to the ground!

We must live by faith, believing what God speaks shall come to pass. In Habakkuk 2:3, the Lord states, "For the vision is yet for an appointed time; but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." God may give us a vision days, months, or even years prior to its fruition. We may become disheartened when we expect the dream or vision to manifest in our lives right away. This is when many of us fall victim to the mentality of taking matters into our own hands. We start to challenge God in His timing and question if He is capable of ironing out the details. Have we not yet learned that He is in the driver's seat? Yes, the Lord promises that the destination shall be reached, but He never says how we will get there. He just wants to see us willingly waiting in the passenger seat.

We are ambassadors of God's faithfulness in this journey of life. We must prove ourselves worthy of the call. I mentioned earlier that there was no widespread revelation in the days of Samuel. In 1 Samuel 4:1, we find, however, that eventually the word of Samuel came to all of Israel as he allowed God to use him prophetically. What if Samuel shied away from his calling? This would have effected an entire nation. If we do not redeem the time, this season in our lives, we are missing out on a great part of our purpose. Making ourselves available and building the realization of a promise God places in our hearts are ways in which we share our dream with others. We will never know to what degree we can make a difference if we live in the shadow of our fear, lingering on the sidelines.

Even if we must write down what God quickens to our hearts, make sure you hold on to it. The Lord advises Habakkuk to "write the vision and make it plain on tablets..." (Habakkuk 2:1). We must meditate on it. Be filled with promise, purpose, and peace knowing that His word is never void. It is filled with hope and in its appointed time will speak truth! The world may come against you or tempt you with all it has to offer. But, hold out for what God has for you! Remember faith mixed in with a little patience and tenacity is what carries us to the promise land where the fruition of our divine vision manifests under His right hand.

6 Months and Counting...

I stepped off the porch that bear-hugs our white colonial home, filled with childhood memories. I thought about how hard my parents worked to achieve the American Dream--a house in the suburbs and a two-car garage with cars to fill it. We as parents want so much more for our children, praying that they will dream bigger and live more abundantly than we did. But, sometimes we lose sight of the purpose of dreaming. As our territory becomes larger through life's experiences, our influence becomes greater, and our circle of family/friends expands. This in turn should remind us that our dreams are meant to be shared! We are not created to walk this journey alone. Now, here I am evaluating the dream I once had. Was it big enough for two? I begin to suck in air, let it fill my chest, and breathe life back into it, only this time I let go of my wants and examine the need. My son may not ever grow up in a house guarded by a white picket fence, but I pray he sees how much I love him, not by what I can provide for him, but how I show him.

The American dream tells us that we are to save money for a rainy day, settle for the sedan, purchase the house walking distance from our child's school, and wait. We wait for the day we can retire, eat the fruits of our labor, watch our grandchildren, and finally take up that hobby we so passionately enjoyed in our youth. In reality however, this isn't how most of our lives play out. We pay into a social security system that is no longer secure. Our bodies and minds are degenerating much faster than our ancestors, partly because we stare at a computer monitor daily that sits atop a desk in an office at a job that we hate! Yet, it ceases to amaze me, that we spend more hours there than at home where we should be building our dream instead of working to afford it. And so the story goes, we come home agitated because the house is a mess, dinner has not yet been prepared, and our little ones (while screaming for our attention) are in desperate need of a bubble bath and bed, not to mention a little quality time with us. All the while, we believe we have cut out our share of the pie, when in reality we have cut ourselves out from our lives, a little something we like to call sacrifice. Then, one day our Maker dots the i's and crosses the t's in the final draft of our story and we are left with a harsh realization. Life quickly blows out like the flint of a candle. And as for our legacy, prayerfully, it is not summed up by the money we left behind in our will.

It is sad, but true. We as humans try our hardest to create a makeshift heaven on earth. But there is no such thing as a perfect world. The only perfection we will ever face is in the promise of eternal life we receive through Jesus Christ. Some people believe we should stop dreaming until then. I don't. We can make our lives worth living if we step back, put it into perspective, and prioritize.

First and foremost, I propose that we stop putting things off for the future, all that we hope to accomplish in our old age. What if that day never comes? I would like for you to visualize the following scenario. One day you are driving and you audibly hear the voice of God. He briefly states that you have 6 months to live and advises that you get your affairs in order before then. Do you think your perspective would change? Would you prioritize your life a little differently? I'm sure none of us would say, "Wow, I really need to be putting in more hours at work!". On the contrary, I believe that most of us would invest our time wisely. How would you choose to live your life?

I might show my son how much I love him without saying a thing. We would ride bikes around the neighborhood and play with his matchbox car set without a care about where I should be or what work I need to complete. I might spend lunches in my sisters' school cafeteria and show up to every game. I might have dinner prepared for my parents before they step foot in the house, a simple gesture of thanks for all they have done. I might complete that project that is now buried under the rubble of fear and distractions. I might finally live!

As for my dream, I picture my life as six months and counting. I am working towards a legacy that is not defined by social status or material gain. It is an imprint left behind on the hearts of those whose lives I have touched, turning their attention and affection to the only One worthy of a legacy--Jesus Christ.

Please stay tuned to the sequel regarding our divine purpose and what scripture states about the fruition of dreams. Also, please take the time out to view a video I have recently posted entitled "Seize the Day" at the following link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvNcXP4gDZU

Until next time, be encouraged! God bless!

In the Wake of the Recent Earthquake...

I stood in the center of my grandfather's room, clinging to his bed, as picture frames rattled against the bare white walls. I called out for my grandmother, unsure of where she was at the time. Shortly after, she appeared in the entryway of the bedroom, her fingers tightly clenching the door frame in order to restore her balance. She looked up to the heavens, calling upon the name of Yeshua in her native tongue--Greek. This whole incident probably took place within a minute's time, but it felt like an eternity. I spoke with a friend recently about the day that my hometown experienced its first earthquake in years. I jokingly explained how I believed it was time for the rapture!

Needless to say, the rapture never came or perhaps it did and I've just been left behind! Nonetheless, something significant happened yesterday. I suddenly became very aware of how life as we know it can change in a split second. Earlier that day, I was taking my grandparents to a doctor's appointment and just hours later we were in the midst of an earthquake. I think of all the major disasters that have occurred within my lifetime--the tsunami in Japan, the earthquake in Haiti, Hurricane Katrina, 9/11. These are just to name a few, but so monumental in impact. Thousands of lives were lost in these unexpected tragedies. Those who have survived to tell it would probably describe where they were or what they were doing as just the usual routine before their lives were interrupted and changed forever.

The earthquake that hit Maryland and the neighboring states was minor and I am grateful to say that we suffered minimal damage. Although we did not face disaster in such a large scale as those tragedies mentioned earlier, my spirit was alarmed and my eyes were awakened. The first thought to cross my mind was how I hadn't seized the opportunity to talk about Jesus with my grandfather. I have prayed for healing with him over various ailments, but I never talked to him about receiving the gift of salvation. It made me question how serious I am about witnessing to others, including my own family. After all, the most important decision we make determines whether or not we spend eternity in the kingdom of heaven!

In addition, I have spent some time thinking about what I would be doing now if I knew the exact date, the hour, or even the month of Jesus' arrival. However, Jesus reveals through scripture, "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only" (Matthew 24:36). What does the bible tell us we should be doing in the interim? In Acts 1:10-11, scripture reveals that the disciples witnessed Jesus' ascension into heaven. "And while they looked steadfastly toward heaven as He went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel, who also said, 'Men of Galilee, why do you stand gazing up into heaven? This same Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will so come in like manner as you saw Him go into heaven'". In other words, we should not be enslaved to the waiting period which paralyzes us from taking care of business as He's ordained here on this earth. Instead, we are called to action. "'But know this, that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched and not allowed his house to be broken into. Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect" (Matthew 24:43-44).

I encourage us all to live as though the clouds were parting this very moment preparing the way for Jesus' descension upon the earth. If He were to enter your household unexpectedly, what would He witness you doing? He could very well catch our hands rummaging through a cookie jar rather than clasped in an attitude of prayer.

We have no control over acts of nature, terrorist attacks, disease, or famine, but I pray they do not go unwarranted. God makes beautiful things of the rubble and debris that is left in our lives when the walls come tumbling down. But, we must trust that He is in control. If these tragedies we face in life do not stir us up into action and awaken us from our sleepy complacency, what will?

One thing I have learned in the wake of the recent earthquake is that I've become caught up in the distractions of this world. I need to pray more, spend time in His word, witness to others, and trust that He is fully in control. Whether my life were taken from me now or I live to witness the Day of Judgement, I would hope it means something, that I fulfilled my purpose here on earth. I pray to be an instrumental part in leading others to the Lord. But, it shouldn't take these moments for us to put things into perspective. Let us seize the opportunity we have now to love more, pray more, and live in constant view of the second coming of our Savior, Jesus Christ!

You have Beautiful Feet!

Mary sat by Jesus' feet, anointed them with oil, gently gathered her hair now resting down the small of her back, and wiped the remnant. Thereafter, the bible states, “And the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil" (John 12:3). As I envision this scripture, I start to sketch the facial structure of Mary, as tears of gratitude roll down the contours of her pale cheeks. I pretend to know her life story, a desperate heart that led her to the Lord. But, more importantly, I attempt to understand what compelled her to open that flask of spikenard, a very costly oil, and pour it on her Master’s feet. I want to breathe in the sweet fragrance of servitude that dripped from the mouth of that bottle, permeating the room where she laid graciously before Him. This scripture serves as a precursor to one of the most monumental displays of humility that takes place in scripture—the night that Jesus cleanses the feet of His disciples before the Feast of Passover.

Scripture reveals in John 13:5-7, “He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, ‘Lord, are You washing my feet?’ Jesus answered and said to him, ‘What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.’” Simon Peter is hesitant at first and perhaps embarrassed to allow His Lord to take on this subservient role. But, Jesus makes it known, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me” (John 13:8). We see here that the cleansing of feet is a significant process through which we are made clean through Christ. We must allow Him to prepare in us a clean heart as we enter into the body of Christ.

Later, when Jesus finished washing the disciples' feet, He stated, "’You call me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you’" (John 13:13-15). What is Jesus teaching us here? I think it is evident that he is reinforcing the simple truth that we are to serve one another humbly, without regard to social status or position of authority. In this example, we witness the greatest authority to ever walk this earth humble Himself at the feet of His disciples. We should be more than capable of humbling ourselves at the feet of fellow man.

Another invaluable lesson that is revealed through this passage is that we are to follow His lead. The feet are the vessel of which we navigate through life. John 13:10 states, "'...He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean...'". When we walk with God, He continuously cleanses us from the defilement we contract along the way. Jesus washed away our sins through baptism, and we now have the choice to sanctify ourselves through repentance. Needless to say, we are all a work-in-progress. However, God ministers to our pain and shame and He uses them just the same. There will come a time when God tells us to go and minister to others. Our testimony is just an open door through which we can share the good news. Scripture states in Romans 15:15, “And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written: ‘How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, who bring glad tidings of good things!’” Jesus knew that He would soon no longer be with His disciples in the flesh, therefore the cleansing of their feet was symbolic for the preparation taking place in them before they would witness to others after His resurrection. In the same way, God cleanses our feet as He prepares us to preach in our spheres of influence. Yes, we will still walk through the muck and mire just the same as everyone else, but the difference is this: We have a God who loves us and is concerned with our “hygiene”. In all seriousness though, our sanctification is God’s ultimate will for our lives.

Psalm 119:105 tells us that God’s word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. Psalm 91:12 states, “In their [angels’] hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.” Here we are reminded that our feet are the source of a fall. Therefore, we should remain careful of our steps. If we are in God’s word, He shall illuminate our path. If we remain in God’s will, our feet shall be cleansed by His living water.

How beautiful are the feet of those who profess and proclaim the name of Jesus! How beautiful are the feet of those who serve at the feet of others! How beautiful are the feet of those who humble themselves before the Lord, following His footprints, fragrant with Mary's oil.

Come, Holy Spirit, Come!

Upon returning back to my hometown in Maryland, I have now faced a whirlwind of life-altering decisions, one of which has been trying to find a home church. I have spent various sunday mornings stepping foot into sanctuary after sanctuary, some well-lit and beautifully adorned with gold trim and colorful mosaic windows. Others are less ornate, humble, and difficult to spot as they are tucked away in inconspicuous locations, such as an office park. Naturally, the appearance of the church plays very little part in my decision. However, what I have been taking note of is what takes place beyond the front doors. Will I be met with a body of believers who will love on me and accept me into their spiritual family with open arms? How is the worship? How is the message? But, it is here where I have to stop and remind myself not to base my decision upon emotion. I am not looking for a feel-good service, some place where I go to be entertained. What I am truly searching for is the presence of the Holy Spirit.

What saddens me nowadays is that I have found the church playing church. We dress up nice, enter the corridors of the sanctuary, make friendly conversation with the usher, nodd and wave at our neighbor, sit down, and then stare at the pulpit before us. We are sung to by the worship team and on cue applaud after every song as if sitting through a community theater performance. The message is spoken like a rehearsed monologue. Moments later, a basket is passed around, as members shuffle inside their purses/wallets trying to scrounge up a few bucks to throw in. This reminds me all too much of an empty baseball cap passed around to tourists on the boardwalk of Venice Beach. I hate to make this comparison, but I am only speaking upon what I have seen.

Children that were once taught sunday school lessons behind a desk and in front of a chalk board are now placed in front of a tv screen. There are toys strewn about on the floors of the "classrooms", giving the impression of a daycare center rather than a bible school. There is not a lesson planned nor rehearsal of scripture, no children's worship, and no talk of Jesus. The mention of God has been taken out of our public school systems, are we now taking Him out of church?

There is a dilution of the Word that is being fed to us and a watered-down version of sunday morning service that is offered out like lemonade on various corners of our neighborhoods. No wonder our society has fallen victim to the lies and deceits of this world. We are missing the one vital part of church and that, my friends, is the Holy Spirit. This is the same Holy Spirit that showed up in the upper room on the Day of Pentecost. The bible states "And suddenly there came a sound from heaven, as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled the whole house where they [disciples] were sitting. Then there appeared to them divided tongues, as of fire, and one sat upon each of them. And they were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance" (Acts 2:2-4). What I would like to address in this scripture is what took place before the arrival of the Holy Spirit. In Acts 2:1, we find that the disciples "were all with one accord in one place". In other words, they were praying together in agreement, like-minded, and driven with the same purpose in the same place of worship. They were all fervently seeking the presence of the Lord. From this day forward, the Holy Spirit came upon each and everyone of them. The apostles performed signs and wonders. They sold their possessions and distributed their wealth evenly subject to need. Now, each disciple was of no value or rank higher than another. They had all things in common. As a result, we find the church grows by the thousands. "So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved" (Acts 2:46-47).

This scripture states yet again that the disciples were "with one accord". We find the church moving and growing by the power of the Holy Spirit because of the disciples' commitment to the Lord. They didn't seek their own interests or wonder how the church might serve them. Instead, they gave everything they had in order to do just the opposite--serve. They died to themselves daily with "simplicity of heart" and they were content. Scripture doesn't say that the church grew through Paul's exhortation of feel-good messages or outstanding worship. On the contrary, it was the Lord that brought the increase. He searched the heart of the church and found their commitment, obedience, and desire to put the church's needs above their own. As a result, thousands of souls were saved!

Now, let's fast forward 2,000 years later. What is the practical application of this scripture in the church today? I am compelled to believe that the Holy Spirit moves when a body of believers are with one accord. When we come together in fellowship, commune with one another, and have one desire--to see God move, this welcomes the presence of the Holy Spirit. When we shut out the world's view of church as entertainment and take ourselves out of the equation, we make room for the Holy Spirit to sweep in through sanctuaries across the world, just as the gust of wind breezed through the quarters of the disciples' upper room. How often do we earnestly seek God's presence in church? How often do we praise without reservation? How often does a preacher put down his/her index cards and just follow the lead of the Holy Spirit? Not often. But, I urge you, fellow Christians, to not settle for church that conducts business as usual.

We are created to worship a God that manifests Himself in such a powerful way, in ways we can not even imagine. We are given the authority to usher in His presence when we give our all to Him. In Revelation 3:15, the Lord addresses the lukewarm church, "I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot, I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." However, later we find that the Lord gives an open invitation to receive Him despite the church's faults. Scripture states, "Behold I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches" (Revelation 3:20-22).

Are we open to receiving the invitation of the Holy Spirit into our church? Remember, God has no concern for the church that looks good on paper. He desires humility, an unfailing belief in the power of the Holy Spirit, and a desire to see the Holy Spirit move. Let us welcome His Spirit into our place of worship. Let us unite as the church was created with one accord and be prepared to witness miracles, signs, and wonders. Marriages can be restored, the sick can be healed, and our needs can be met when we believe and submit to the power of the Holy Spirit. We are the church. We can make the choice today to accept lukewarm faith or "hear what the Spirit says to the church". Open the invitation and receive. Come, Holy Spirit, Come!

Who is God to You?

Indescribable, undeniable, and unspeakable are the words that come to mind when I think of the majestic nature of our God. What words come to mind when you think of our God--the God that created heaven and earth in perfect symmetry and harmony? This is the same God that shaped our form, like malleable clay in the palm of his hands. He is an artist, a poet, a judge, a king, our Father, our Savior, the Holiest of holies. When I meditate upon His greatness, I feel a piercing joy of electricity through my veins, a shock wave of emotion that ebbs and flows upon the shores of my heart. Then a hush, a calming peace, sweeps over me and it is here where I find myself in my Father's hands. I feel once again like a child who clings to her father's burly arms and feels safe in the comfort of them. I breathe in the sweet-smelling aroma of grace. I know that as much as I might have shamed and grieved Him through the years of maturation, He has looked upon me with unfailing love. I am His portion and He is mine. He keeps me as the apple of His eye and hides me under the shadow of His wings (para Psalm 17:8).

When I read through the book of Psalms, I realize how great David's understanding of God was. Throughout the Old Testament, you can sense a great fear looming over the hearts of the Jews, a fear that results from disobedience and neglect of the statutes and commandments set place under the Mosaic law. But, as for David, he knew the Lord, not only as he was instructed, to fear and revere Him, but he also deeply loved and honored Him. The words he sung from his lips, which we know read through ink pen and paper, were filled with passion. If you didn't know any better, you would think he was wooing the heart of a love interest. But, how beautiful it is that far greater than this, he was wooing the heart of His God. In Psalm 63:1 he states, "O God, You are my God; early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water."

The book of Psalms in the Old Testament is to me like a tall glass of cold lemonade on a hot summer's day. It is refreshing to read about a man who truly seeks and knows God's heart in a climate of legalism. In Psalm 86:15 he states, "But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth." This compels me to think about how I view my God. Yes, we all know God is good and worthy of our praise because we are told this through scripture. However, how much do we believe this? I pose this question in hopes to stir us up into action, particularly those of us who have adopted a legalistic belief system. I don't want to go through life as if going through the motions, accepting God for who He is based upon what I am told to think of Him. I want to engage with Him in a deep and meaningful relationship, just as I would with a significant other. I don't want to just place Him upon a shelf and refer to Him when I need Him. I want Him to walk with me hand-in-hand in my coming and going.

Sometimes what helps us through this process is when we reflect upon who God is to us. I previously referred to God as "my God". I do this to connote and stress the importance of personalizing our relationship with Him. He is not some being that floats upon the earth, judging us and ruling earthly domains from the high heavens. He is very much a part of our daily existence and desires that we adopt Him into our daily living. I refer to God as my Heavenly Father and sometimes imagine being that little girl residing in the confines of His secure arms. But, He is not only my Father, He is also my King, which makes me royalty in His eyes.

Sometimes, we negate who we are in God's eyes. If we would start viewing ourselves the way that God sees us, we might believe that we are worthy of love and affection. We might consider ourselves worthy of standing in the shower of God's blessings, not in a prideful way, but in a confident way. But, this all begins with knowing who God is to us and on the same token, who we are to Him; which in turn makes us secure in our relationship with Christ, no longer second-guessing ourselves, waiting for the door to slam on us or our hearts to be broken as due punishment for any wrongs committed in our lives. We no longer walk with a looming cloud of death. Christ died so that we would be given life--eternal life. Do not take for granted this gift. In so doing, let us seek God's face. When He reveals Himself, etch Him in your heart and in your mind. Safeguard it. Meditate on it. Just as David meditated on God's law daily, he also meditated on His goodness. If that wasn't enough, he depicted God through lyric and painted His image in his own understanding. How much more can we, who are now enlightened and are given the gift of renewed vision, see and know who God is to us?

I don't know about you, but it is not enough for me to read God's word without meditating on it. It is not enough for me to pray without being still, awaiting His response. It is not enough for me to view illustrations, created at the hands of fellow man, depicting Jesus with piercing blue eyes, and wooly brown hair and allow my mind to manufacture replicas of this. I want to read God's word and know that it breathes. I want to pray, expecting a response. I want to paint God's image in my mind the way that I see Him, running my fingertips through the seams of His design. I want to press my palm in His and know that it is here that I am safe. "For a day in your courts is better than a thousand" (Psalm 84:10).

I encourage you, readers, that we can not fully know our identity until we have discovered our identity through Christ. That begins with our understanding of Him followed by our understanding of who we are in His eyes. Wherever you are in this journey of life, you are never too far away to receive Him. God doesn't measure distance. He only measures our hearts. The more we seek Him, the more He reveals Himself to us, letting us in on the marvelous and indescribable truths of His majestic existence.

Child-Like Faith

"He is so fluffy, soft, and cuddly". These were the words spoken after a young girl, roughly the age of eight, wrapped her arms around her new best friend--a pink stuffed bunny. Her excitement could be felt as she forcefully spit out each word like flavorless chewing gum as her lisp clung on to every other syllable. Her shrieks and shrills made it known what she was feeling on the inside. Her pig tails, neatly wrapped in pink bows, swung to and fro as her head jilted back and forth repititiously as she cuddled her face up against the bunny's plastic whiskers. I imagine she brought her inanimate pet in for show-and-tell. I witnessed this glorious occasion as I was dropping my son off to school one morning. It perpetuated a series of thoughts about how God blesses us with children (biologically, through adoption, or spiritually) and how much we learn from them as a result.

The gift of a child touches the lives of all those he/she comes in contact with--parents, family, and friends. Not only do they bring joy, but they also deposit priceless nuggets of wisdom into our lives. In scripture, Jesus reminds us that we are to come to Him with child-like faith. Imagine if we had the same enthusiasm for Him as that young girl had for her pink bunny. Imagine if we had the same zeal for life as she did. The tidal wave rush of genuine emotion that exuded from her tiny body is what God requires from us. We are not to be a shy or silenced generation, concerned with what our neighbors think of our passion and excitement for Christ. We are called to be bold in faith, in our convictions, and in truths as they pertain to the gospel. God desires us to come to Him like children with our requests, with our petitions, and with a pure interest in seeking His counsel. In Matthew 18:3, Jesus states, "'Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven'". In this scripture, Jesus calls a young child to stand in the midst of His presence as He states further, "'Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven'" (Matthew 18:4).

Jesus exemplifies a child so that we can comprehend humility. A child's ignorance in terms of life experience leaves him/her blemish-free, pure from the tainted world. A child does not yet understand pride, which is evident in their interactions with others. They are not afraid to ask for what they want and in so doing they are expectant to receive. How much could we learn from children in this manner? If we let down our pride, silence the deceit of our hearts that have a tendency to remind us of our previous failures, and turn to God with child-like faith, we would be prosperous in our prayer life. God knows our hearts. He even knows the desires of our hearts. It is during our fellowship with Him that we make known our faith. When we come to Him humbled and expectant to receive, God does not hesitate to release blessings into our lives as He wills it.

In addition to humility, children can be brutally honest. I have a six year-old son who has no qualms about expressing his dislike for something. He often reminds me that the barbecue chicken I prepare for dinner is too dry. From time to time, he lets me know when I look like I have just rolled out of bed. As I watch my confidence level deplete, I can't help but love his honesty (provided it does not extend beyond the walls of this household)! In all seriousness though, it is the same honesty in his character that God seeks in us. He asks for honesty, not because he doesn't know us inside and out, but because He wants us to trust Him with every detail of our lives. He is not looking for the counterfeit you, a replica of whom you think He wants you to be. He is looking for the real you, flaws and all!

We are like children in God's eyes regardless of age, regardless of our past, and regardless of our social standing. Mark 10:15 states, "'Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom as a little child will by no means enter it'". Let us receive the good news with gratefulness, joy, and honesty as we come before God and as we bear witness to others. Let us put aside our pride, and put on child-like faith. In a healthy familial dynamic, the children depend on their parents. So too, we should humble ourselves, relying on nothing or no one but our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! Do not underestimate what we can learn from our youth. If you are not a parent, observe your nieces or nephews, or any child that has been left in your care. During that span of time, listen to their candid remarks, their passion for life, and their demonstrations of humility. There is much to be learned than what meets the eye! We are all God's children in His eyes! Here we get a free pass to start acting like it!

Obedience Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

We are bombarded by ads that read such slogans as "Obey your thirst" and are unaware that skillful advertisers are speaking to the great need we all have as human beings to submit to and obey to something greater than us. We are inherently driven by a passion to quench some form of inner-longing, to fill a void, and to silence the voice within that cries out desperately to be heard. In a physiological stance, we can hear the gurgling of our stomach, or feel the arid dryness of our mouth as our tongue sticks to our palette, reminding us that it is time to eat or drink. So much so as we are aware of our physical needs, we should acknowledge our spiritual needs. If we can "obey our thirst", how much more can God give us than just a drink of water if we would obey Him?

If you have followed my blogs through the past three years, you more than likely have some knowledge of the journey I set out on, uprooting my son and I from Maryland in search of new beginnings in Los Angeles, California. Back then, you met the 23 year-old young woman who challenged life face-on, daring and enthralled by all it had to offer. I chased a dream of standing on the streets of Hollywood boulevard with my keyboard in tow, knocking on record label doors and instantly handed recording contracts marked with an x, awaiting my signature. Now, here I sit, attempting to hold back tears as I relive the days I spent running the rat race, trying to validate myself by measuring my talents up against other hollywood-bound hopefuls. But, these are not tears of regret or sadness. They are tears of gratitude as I wave farewell to Sunset strip and head back east, equipped for the new journey that lies ahead. No, I am not returning with a recording contract. However, what I have left LA with is far greater than anything this world could offer. "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole word, and loses his own soul?" (Mark 9:36) I have laid down my selfish ambitions and raised up one simple question: "Lord, how might I serve You?" In that instance, a transformation took place, not over night, but through daily acts of obedience. See, I once obeyed the desires of my heart, hoping to see my name in the lime light. But, God pulled the spotlight off of me and showed me that in all things we must center it back on Him. God reminds us in scripture that "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?" (Jeremiah 17:9) This is where obedience steps in. All God wants is all of us--our time, our devotion, our thoughts, our hearts!

Oftentimes, we do not know what God's will is for our lives, but I assure you that with acts of obedience, He will align the desires of our hearts with His. As I opened this posting with the slogan for Sprite's soft drinks, you might have envisioned the tv commercial of a man or woman drenched in sweat, seemingly dying of thirst, reaching out for the sprite bottle as beads of water droplets condense around it. Our physical thirst can be quenched by a cold drink. But what about the thirst of our souls? We can dance in circles all day long around what God has waiting for us on the other side of our commitment to Him. However, at the end of the day, our souls will still desire something more. I promise you that nothing of this world can quench that! Jesus reminds His disciples, "Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it" (Mark 9:34-35). When we lift up our hands and surrender our lives to God, this proves a submission of our wills. It is a beautiful progression of events that take place, but the initial step begins in the heart. There is a quote that is widely used: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". However, I would like to pitch out to you a little food for thought using the same idea but changing one word: "Obedience makes the heart grow fonder". If we neglect a relationship with God, we are neglecting our souls. We can't physically live without food and water. On the same token, spiritually, we can't live without Him! We enter into a joy and peace that surpasses all understanding when we say "YES"!

I am living proof that obedience makes the heart grow fonder as God has showed me how to turn a cheek towards strained relationships. In addition, He has fueled in me a desire to serve others. He gives us a heart to love on one another, hands to help, and eyes to see the need. We are instruments and tools He uses daily as we re-enact a piece of heaven here on earth. He will breathe on our gifts and play out the desires of our hearts as they align with His just because we made ourselves available to listen and adhere to His instruction. This in turn pleases the soul. When we break into the shoes God made for us as we endure our walk with Him, our hearts will grow light, knowing that we are exactly where God calls us to be. We are standing in the center of His will for our lives. We will no longer be a victim to the deceits of the heart, but instead be victors over matters of the heart.

All because we chose to obey, take up our cross, and follow HIM!

Wherever you are in your walk with Christ, do not grow weary in well-doing. He recognizes your dedication to Him. He will grant the desires of your heart (according to His will) in His timing, and in due season.

God bless you, readers! Until next time, be encouraged!

A Servant's Heart: Self-Centered to God-Centered

If you are like me, you have spent a great deal of time sorting through the keys of life, attempting to find one that would unlock the truth in our pursuit of happiness. Just skim through the New York Times Best Sellers list and you will find book titles such as “7 Steps to True Happiness”, “Awakening the Joy Within”, and “True Living”. Needless to say, we crave happiness. We hunger for it. We thirst for it. But, happiness is temporal. It is a fleeting emotion. It flies in one moment, perches on the branch of our hearts, and just as quickly, flies out, leaving us in a state of disappointment or grief.

Joy, on the other hand, is an attitude. It perpetuates in our lives as a fruit of the Spirit (Reference Galatians 5:22-23). Joy is indicative of our walk with Christ. This is not to say, however, we will never experience sadness. We are human. We feel pain, we bleed, we hurt, we cry. This is all subject to our existence here on earth. However, when we hold on to these emotions, our focus shifts from the external situation to us, resulting in self-pity and self-centeredness.

I am going to share with you my personal testimony of the work God has been doing in me recently. About a year ago, I was heading down a destructive path, an egoistic lifestyle. I was obsessed with my career, my finances, and my happiness. Notice everything I was concerned about involved me! Scripture states, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall" (Proverbs 16:18). Well, in my case, pride eventually pulled the rug right out from under me and saluted me off as I tumbled down a spiral stairwell headed towards rock bottom. I hit it and I hit it hard. Other people noticed it before I did. It took some time but eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was suffering from depression. Like the bird of happiness I illustrated earlier, its wicked stepsister flew in with the same ease, only it had no plans to leave. This sinister black crow made a nest within my mind. It laid eggs of irrational thoughts, causing much grief, sadness, doubt, and confusion. The crow was my oppressor, holding me captive and force-feeding me lies. I spent hours on end trying to pick the lock, praying for a release and relief from the never-ending confusion that had my mind tied up in knots. Not too long after, family members intervened. I received a little help with medication, and a lot of strength from the Lord.

The woman writing this blog today is grateful to say that she was set free from her captor! I know I wouldn’t be where I am now without the grace of God and His obedient children (my brothers and sisters) who opened their arms and embraced my tear-stained cheeks upon their shoulders, spent several nights listening and encouraging me over long, drawn out telephone conversations, and sent up countless prayers to the heavens, interceding on my behalf. For you, my precious family and friends, I am ever so grateful. “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you” (Philippians 1:3).

As my mind healed, my heart healed along with it. My perspective on life changed. I know now that God allowed me to go through this test as part of the growth process. He was carving out and discarding all of the junk I had acquired through the years. This in turn made room for His Sprit to dwell within me. In place of pride, He poured humility. All of my selfish ambitions fell away and the only true righteousness I was living for was to be of service to God. From that point on, I went back into work, striving for excellence, with a new found direction, putting aside my will and taking on His. I can’t begin to tell you all of the valuable lessons I learned since then. Instead of concerning myself with what I had or didn’t have, I was grateful that God spared me from spending one more day without Him.

There is not enough room in our hearts for the abundant joy that fills it when we serve and sow into the lives of others. When I took myself out of the equation (an act of humility) and readied myself to be used by God, I watched Him move in ways unimaginable. To this day, I witness peoples’ lives transform all around me just because I was available. When we are too consumed with ourselves, we leave no room for God to do His part. God honors a cheerful giver, not only of finances, but of time, of resources, of energy, and of talents. Just for spending myself, investing time laboring in His kingdom, He honored me with joy and introduced me to a happiness I never met before.

I joked about this with a friend, but I’ve had desires to write a self-motivational book of my own. The problem is that I would have nothing to say beyond the first line: “True contentment results from a choice we make to be less “me-centered” and more “God-centered”. Believe me, no book claiming to hold all of the secrets to happiness in this world, could expose this truth to you the way the Bible can. David had a heart for the Lord and was blessed beyond measure. Job faithfully praised God through all of his tests. Above all, Jesus was the epitome of “godliness with contentment”. Scripture speaks against selfish ambition which we can apply to the prosperity gospel that is being taught nowadays as “useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself. Now godliness with contentment is great gain” (1Timothy 6:5-6). Godliness is not a means to an end. Our motivation should be pure, with God as the central focus. The problem with such teachings is that it validates the wants of our heart. But remember as Jeremiah 17:9 reveals, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?” As I mentioned to you before, I was prideful without even knowing it. I was giving in to the plea of my heart without realizing its falsehood. But the Lord, our Redeemer, stepped in and reminded me of such a simple, but monumental truth-- His ways are above my ways.

Matthew 6:33 states, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” This scripture is not referring to material reward. It is referring to God’s provision in righteousness and supplication of our needs, not our wants. I am sure you are familiar with the book of Job and the horrific trials he endured. Something important to note is summed up in one line towards the end of this book. It states in Job 42:10, “And the Lord restored Job’s losses when he prayed for his friends”. Job’s test of faith runs parallel to the scripture found in Matthew 6:33. It isn’t until we take the focus off of ourselves and place it upon others, as a reflection of servitude to God, that we will find contentment, restoration, and peace.

In conclusion, dear readers, ponder this: We are called to die to self daily. As often as we hear this in our walk with Christ, I pray we dismiss our self-centeredness and adopt a new attitude of joy that is a byproduct of the work God is doing in us and through us, provided we let Him. We grieve the Spirit and aggravate ourselves when our purpose in life is to appease our fleshly desires. But, wow, the magnitude of splendor, the empowerment, and the contentment that awaits us when our pursuit of happiness is spent in service and in search of God’s heart. That is pure bliss!

God bless you, brothers and sisters. Until next time, be encouraged!

Firm Fruit of Faith

The past few days, although unbearably hot, have really begun to sing to my heart! It is a sure-tell sign that summer is right around the corner. Some of my fondest childhood memories are spawned out of summer vacations away from the hustle and bustle of the usual school week routine. I remember sun-drenched days as cars whizzed by with tops down, and speakers up, blaring DJ Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince's hit song, "Summertime". I enjoyed summer nights just the same as flash light tag drew all the neighborhood kids out of their homes and into the damp, freshly cut lawns where blades of grass tickled the bottoms of bare feet. I would often remember to bring an empty glass jar with holes punched out in the aluminum lid so that I could catch fireflies that whizzed around us, lighting up the night sky.

As a teenager, I remember accepting truth or dare challenges, trying to prove myself the fearless warrior that my heart denied. On one occasion, I was "double-dog dared" to jump the fence into the community pool just outside of Cherry Tree Farms. I chose to face my fear and before my knees just about buckled and locked into a stationary position, I squatted down, hyperextended my legs so that it met my body in a 90 degree angle, and dove into the 8 foot deep waters dancing below me. I remember an unusually cool breeze blow through my scalp as it pierced through the surface level of the water, followed by my mouth, gasping for air. My teeth started to chatter and my body echoed as I shivered profusely for about one minute. I then grapped on to the concrete edge of the pool and attempted to pull myself out of it. However, as my shoulders touched the crisp air, I let go and sank back into the deep blue. In that brief span of time, my body grew comfortable in its surroundings.

Scientifically speaking, this occurence happens all the time in each and every one of us. It is referred to as homeostasis. I recently instructed a biology class in which I required my students to research the meaning of this term. Holt's Biology textbook defines it as "the maintenance of stable internal conditions in spite of changes in the external environment." The example the text book provides illustrates the conditions in which harp seals live in and around the Arctic Ocean. Due to homeostasis, their bodies are able to withstand extreme weather conditions because it regulates heat internally. In some occasions, if the animal is unable to adjust to its environment, they will become ill and/or die.

The more I study science, the more I find God's work to be remarkable! I can only imagine how much thought went into contemplating every minor detail concerning His creation. God loved us and wanted us to prosper so much so that He sent His only begotten Son, not only to die for our sins, but to be the example through which we might live! [Reference 1 John 4:9] Contrary to what many people believe, when we as Christians accept the gift of salvation, that doesn't mean that trials, tests, and tribulations go away. In fact, the opposite often occurs. We will be met with some of the most difficult decisions and trials that we have ever faced in our lifetimes up until that point. However, God has given us a compass through which we will be able to navigate through these storms. That, my friends, is His word. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 states, "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work." This scripture reveals to us that God's word is a vital part of our very existence. Through it, we may be "complete" and "thoroughly equipped". In other words, if we read and accept His word, we are unshakable! The Greek translation for "inspiration of God" is theopneustos, meaning "God-breathed". Remember, just as He breathed life into Adam, He has also breathed His Word into existence. That is why we refer to it as the living word because it is the way in which God speaks to us daily. As it did centuries ago, it still applies to us today.

After we have accepted His word and written it on our hearts, the true test remains. Whether or not we falter or fall under the weight of pressure all depends on our obedience to Him. If we apply every morsel of truth to our daily living and we stand in the posture of Christ, embracing the same humility He faced through all of His trials, and loving one another the way that Christ loves us, then we are sure to produce good fruit in our lives. Galatians 5:22-23 lists the fruit of the Spirit as "love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control." I think of the fruit of the Spirit as the spiritual definition for homeostasis. If we are fully abiding in Christ, we can expect inner peace and joy even when the external factors seem daunting. We are capable of adjusting readily because of the stable internal conditions God has manifested in us.

As I explained in the example earlier, my body's initial reaction to jumping into the pool was shock. However, as my internal components started to function as they should, I was finally able to adjust to the external factors. Our lives are no different. Walking with Christ is not always like walking into a room full of roses. We may be initially shocked when we face tragedy or turmoil in our lives. This is a natural, human reaction. However, it is in how we plan to move on from there that matters. He has equipped us with His Word. He has given us a perfect representation of good through which we should emulate daily. The more we put on the persona of Christ, the more we become like Him. As a result, we will witness a transformation in our spiritual make-up. We will be able to practice peace, joy, patience, kindness and self-control even when we can't pay the rent, find a job, or are going through a difficult break-up. These external factors do not make or break you. It is the spiritual fruit that you are perpetually producing as you serve Christ that will determine how you rise above your circumstances.

Rest assured that you are pliable in God's hands. Your flesh may be torn apart when you are under fire, however, His Spirit remains constant within you. "By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit." (1 John 4:13) Walk boldly knowing that regardless of the curve balls life throws at you, you shall not fear or even flinch for the Lord is not only with you but in you. "You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

Until next time, be encouraged readers!

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Song is one of the most powerful tools we can use in the midst of a struggle. I am sure we have all at some point in our lives turned on the radio to the highest decimal our ears allow, nodded our heads back and forth as if riding on the lull of a rhythmic sea, and mouthed the lyrics of our favorite song verbatim, crimping our faces in such a way that could be mistaken as pain when in fact we are just displaying the emotion that the song evokes in us. For about three minutes, we have released our tension into the makeshift microphone in the center of our steering wheels. We could care less about what Joe in the right hand lane thinks about our rendition of "I Will Survive"! Through song, we unlock the caged soul within us and watch it fly.

I have been teaching the past 2 1/2 years at a probation hall (or correctional facility) for high school students who have found themselves in trouble with the law. I have spent a good portion of this time in our compound unit, working with students labeled as "high-risk offenders". They primarily range from the ages of fourteen to eighteen. We house them at our school site for the duration of their trial. These particular students have lost their "fitness" in juvenile court, which means they are deemed no longer "fit" to enter back into society. They are then moved on to adult court where they are facing serious sentences. I have witnessed students shipped out of our facility, serving anywhere between 2 to 250 years in the state penitentiary.

Needless to say, I meet challenges daily in trying to motivate these adolescents to see the importance of earning a high school diploma. Their number one concern of course is being free from their cell walls. Between the stress of court and missing their families/friends, there is very little hope for many of them. Nonetheless, my duty as an educator remains the same. I am not only there to instruct, but I also play a part in the rehabilitation process. Our mission is to touch the lives of each student in hopes that they will one day make the choice to turn away from a life of crime and gang violence. In exchange, we offer them the resources they need in order to transition back into society as upstanding citizens, rising up as the future generation that will run this nation. I have taken it one step further and shared with many listening ears the gospel! All we need is to plant a seed and let God do the rest!

Today I entered into the unit where my students are housed, equipped with my lesson plan, stacks of paper, and pencils. I prepared for them a lecture on the American Indian Movement that took place in the 1960s, but little did I know that I would be receiving a lesson of my own. It all began when I introduced myself to a new student in the class. He shook my hand timidly, sunk down into the lustrous metallic stool Los Angeles county funds provide, and stared down at his paper. About a minute passed when suddenly this young gentleman rose from his desk and stated, "I heard that you can sing, Ms. J!" I started to reply, but before my mouth shaped around the letter "I", he abruptly continued, "I can sing too! I used to sing in the church choir and I sang for my grandmother's funeral!" Without delay, my student commenced a cataclysm of events that spiraled out of my control.

This young man began to sing. He placed his hand over his heart, clenched his gray t-shirt, and threw his head back as if he was watching the musical notes escape from his lips. After he concluded his rendition of "Sweet Sadie", the rest of the students and I applauded him. Then, another student jumped up from his desk and began to sing a song in a tongue unfamiliar to me. I believe the lyrics were in Spanish. I, like the other students, was unclear about the content of the song but nonetheless found comfort in his smooth, mellow tone. He extended his final note and then suddenly a beat was heard from the opposite side of the room. Another student began to tap the tip of his pencil to the metal desk, turning unseemingly percussive sounds into a full on drum ensemble. This young man began to perform a poem he wrote about his life struggles, how he wanted to walk away from his hood but was too afraid to try. Each phrasing perfectly fell into the intermittent gaps of the beat. I was overwhelmed by the orchestration that filled the room. Undoubtedly, these young men were in need of a therapy session, one their school psychologist couldn't provide. In this case, song served as the key, unlocking the cage door that bound their souls within the prison walls around them.

The incident that occured today reminds me of scripture in 1 Samuel 16:14-23. Saul was troubled by a stubborn distressing spirit that wouldn't flee. He was advised by his servants that only a skillful musician could help banish the unwanted spirit that bound him. They referred David, a harp player who came highly recommended, as the man for the job. We all know that David had a heart for the Lord and I imagine he played his instrument from his heart, with a fiery passion and zeal. It proved to work as scripture states, "Then Saul would become refreshed and well, and the distressing spirit would depart from him." (1 Samuel 16:23) It is revealed through scripture that music is powerful not only as a form of worship to God, but also as a means of healing.

Maya Angelou wrote a poem entitled, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings". This piece was written during the civil rights movement, however, the message still rings true today. The caged bird is a symbolic figure as the tune the bird produces is a message of hope. This is evident in the following lines that repeat throughout the poem:

The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.

Maya Angelou must have known that the gift of song empowers, uplifts, and inspires not only the songbird but those who can hear its tune. I liken the three young men that I mentioned earlier to the caged bird in this poem. Song enables them to find strength, hope, and encourages those who listen. We may not be able to indentify with what it is like to be physically incarcerated, but how many of us find ourselves incarcerated spiritually? Think about anything that is incapacitating you from engaging in a fully enriched life in Christ. Your soul may be crying out for freedom with a "fearful trill". But, remember that God gave us a voice not to whimper in fear or distress but to sing over and through our circumstances. We don't sing only because we are happy. We sing and rejoice because our souls are free. Maybe your body has physically failed you, but you are not a slave to that hospital bed. Perhaps you are dealing with an addiction of some sort. Praise through the struggle of being released from it! Those four walls that encage your soul will soon come crumbling down! Massage your soul through song, release it, and watch it fly! Scripture in Ephesians 5:19 stresses the importance of "speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord". This is the way in which our souls thrive.

When we sing from our heart the way that David played his harp, we are guaranteed liberation. Galatians 5:1 states, "Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage". Live out this scripture daily. Many of my students do not know the Lord, but one thing they do know is that the instrument inherent within us provides comfort, encouragement, and strength. When we use it to glorify God, we find freedom!

A Healthy Appetite

I spent a few moments mind wrestling with God before writing this blog and it finally occurred to me in one of those ah hah moments that I will never win! Our tussle started over whether or not I should write about my reacquaintance with a long lost love. In my shameful defeat, I was reminded that honesty leads to victory not only for ourselves but for others. So, here I shall briefly and painlessly (I hope) devulge the juicy details. We were first introduced in college during one of my late night snack breaks in the south campus dining hall. Once I feasted my eyes upon this love interest, it was as if the gravitational pull of the moon dragged the stars into a locomotive alignment while the earth yielded in its last revolution around the sun in order to set the atmospheric mood around us. It came straight out of a love scene from one of those cliche chick flicks where everything, including the two star-gazed lovers, moves in slow motion. It was sweet, delectable, and it costed me the dreaded freshman fifteen (pounds). But, how could I resist slightly melted milk chocolate morsels embedded in rich layers of oozing contentment, perfectly moist in the inside, yet slightly crisp around the edges? Yes, dear readers, it is sad to admit, but true. I have reunited with Betty Crocker's creation, searching for comfort at the bottom of a box labeled "Traditional Chewy Brownie Mix".

In all seriousness though, I believe I am not alone in this dramatization, although yours might be slightly less exaggerated. We have all in some form or fashion fallen short due to a vice, whether it be the aching desires of our sweet tooth or persistent profanity. You can fill in the blank on what that means for you. But let's first define "vice". Webster's dictionary defines the term as a "fault, defect, or shortcoming". It can also be described as a "bad habit". Research has shown that it takes 21 days to form a habit, good or bad. As you continue to read further, I encourage you to think of anything that has taken root in your life and established itself as a bad habit. Depending upon how you perceive it, it may be major or minor to you. Nonetheless, it has a hold on you, taking up mental space and/or precious hours out of the day, tempting you, and preventing you from experiencing complete freedom of the flesh. A major vice could be sexual immorality, addictions to a controlled substance, excessive drinking, etc. I think of a minor vice as something as small as biting our finger nails.

This reminds me of a time that I was at the nail shop, eavesdropping into a converation a young girl was having beside me as she was getting her nails done. She shared with the nail technician that she was ten years old and that the reason her mom was allowing her to get acrylics was because she had a nervous habit of biting her nails. Before she could continue, the nail technician, now seemingly interested in what she had to say, put down his cuticle clipper, looked her square in the eye, and abruptly stated, "There are alternatives to biting your nails. I get nervous all the time, but you don't see me biting mine!" The girl giggled to herself uncomfortably. But, I could tell that she knew he was right. I will withold my opinion or whether or not I believe ten year-old girls should wear fake nails and focus on the matter at hand. If we were to flesh out the underlying issue of this real life scenario, we would find that this young girl was taught by her mother that if the habit can't be broken, you can mask it. Now, I know there isn't much cause for concern in this example. I have heightened and highlighted the issue to meerly illustrate my point.

My personal testimony indicated the beginning stages of a habit forming process, one many people are all too familiar with. Clearly, my want superceded my need. Now, I realize that a healthy appetite is a God-granted desire. Overindulgence is when it becomes problematic. Not only that, but it sets a precedence over our desire to seek God first. We may be subconsciously (or consciously) filling a void much deeper than an empty tummy. If this were not so, I would have eaten to contentment and would be satisfied. Being creatures of habit, we find comfort in the temporary fixes our world around us provides, far too easily at that, until voila...twenty-one days later...you have found yourself a new habit to add to the collection!

May I remind you, that this is a tactic the enemy knows far too well! In the very beginning of God's word, we find Adam and Eve tempted by the same food God created for our good. Scripture states, "And the Lord God commanded the man saying, 'Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.'" (Genesis 2:16-17) God told Adam directly that he would die if he disobeyed His command. The looming threat of death STILL didn't deter Adam from tasting the forbidden fruit. This goes to show not even death is enough to deter us from our own unsatiable desires! I thank God we now have the gift of His grace!

Just as the serpent tempted Eve, we too are tempted by a multitude of things, including our appetite. I think of how many of us undervalue the fulfilling richness born of the earth, in our fruits, vegetables, and water. When we start introducing processed foods, loaded with sugar and sodium, into our diets daily, we are not only compromising our physical health, but we are also defiling our temple. We are feeding off of a temporary satisfaction that serves no true nutrional value. The first chapter in the book of Daniel reveals that after an invitation to eat of the meats and sweets king Nebuchadnezzar provided to those who might eventually serve him, "Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's delicacies, nor with the wine which he drank." (Daniel 1:8) He instead proposed a challenge. While the other servants would partake in the king's spread, he and his brothers would only drink water and eat vegetables for ten days. This was to prove that the king's delicacies served no nutrional value, physically or spiritually. So, it happened that after ten days, Daniel and his brothers were in far greater physical standing than the other servants.

This chapter serves us a double portion of truth, promoting physical and spiritual well-being. When Daniel took a stand against the enticing lure of the king's table, he made up his mind that the food prepared was of no value to him. After ten days, not only was he stronger and in better health than the rest of the servants, but he also found himself in right-standing with God. This time spent in devotion to Him was blessed with wisdom and "understanding in all visions and dreams." (Daniel 1:17) In practical application, when we unclutter the body and the mind of the very thing the enemy tries to pour into us, we are far more in tune with God's presence in our lives. Many people engage in spiritual fasts for this purpose.

This example can also be applied to our lifestyle choices. We may be trying to fill that void, searching for temporal gratification by various means, such as carousing in our local bars every single weekend, spending hours surfing the internet, or spending money frivolously, etc. These are all vices that serve as bait to entice us farther and farther away from the one true source of nutritional value for our lives, God's word. Imagine if we fed on His word daily and drank of His living water. I believe we would be like Daniel, in great spiritual and physical health.

In addition to this, I have become leery of products labeled boldly with words that read "fat free" or "high in vitamin c". If it has to convince you that it serves a purpose, chances are that it is overcompensating for what it lacks. When is the last time you saw a banana peel with a label that reads "Rich in Potassium"? This same idea applies to other areas of our lives. If we remember to stick to the basics, the bare essentials, we will find ourselves in a world rid of the noise and distractions. Our lives will be less cluttered and more in tune to God's voice. I think about how our ancestors as written in scripture often audibly heard the voice of God. I believe that removing the vices from our life is like removing the constant noise in our daily soundtrack. It will fine tune our listening skills and open us up to hearing God clearly and soundly. Why do you think the enemy tries so hard to keep us routinely distracted with temporary gratifications?

I challenge you to start a new habit in the next 21 days: engage in God's word daily. I am sure we will receive our fill and be content. Our appetites will be satiated with rich text that is more gratifying than our favorite dessert. During our 21-day challenge, I will earnestly try to put aside the brownies and feast on the richly fulfilling morsels of knowledge instead. As it takes 21 days to form a habit, it takes just as long to break one. So, think of a few vices that you would like to release during this time. Let's regroup in a few weeks and share with one another our results. I am sure we will be empowered, strengthened, and fulfilled! Remember a healthy appetite promotes a healthy heart, pumping invaluable nutrients into our emotional, physical, and spiritual make-up!

God bless you, brothers and sisters. Until next time...be encouraged!

When I Consider How My Light Was Spent

John Milton, a mid-17th century English poet, wrote the heading of this blog. It is the title of a poem peppered in Shakespearean-esque verbiage, a little hard to swallow, but nonetheless, a work that promotes reflection and challenges my 11th grade English students to think outside the box. Any person familiar with period pieces such as this, knows how difficult it can be to unravel the hidden meaning behind doors locked in a foreign language. I realized this today as I looked up from the pages of my teacher's edition to find my eyes met with looks of perplexity and puzzlement. Some student picking his nose in the corner of the room returned a blank stare, just as we completed reading the title, almost deterring me from progressing forward and tugging these kids along through this poetic conundrum. However, by the time we completed a discussion that ensued, I was so glad we didn't jump ship prematurely. The following is the poem for your reference:


When I consider how my light is spent,
Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
And that one talent which is death to hide
Lodged with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present
My true account, lest He returning chide;
"Doth God exact day-labor, light denied?"
I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies, "God doth not need
Either man's work or His own gifts. Who best
Bear His mild yoke, they serve Him best. His state
Is kingly: thousands at His bidding speed,
And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
They also serve who only stand and wait."


After doing some research on John Milton, I found that he was in fact a Protestant. He was so swept up in the theological controversy of his era, that he dedicated his life and works to exposing the thread woven between God and the human condition. In some of his earlier works, Milton shares with his audience his desire to fulfill a life of servitude but grows anxious at the thought that time is not on his side. By the time Milton wrote "When I Consider How My Light Was Spent", he was 43 years old and completely blind. It is here that John Milton's tonal shift is felt. He was at one point a burning flame eager to fulfill God's will, but in this hilighted selection, the flame appears to be squelched. He is plagued with loss and sadness. Perhaps he has evaluated his life and regrets time passed, the very time spent walking away from his calling. Now that he is blind, he doubts if he is of any use at all.

A day prior to being introduced to this poem, I awoke very early in the morning. I turned on the soft glow lamp that resides by my couch, medidated, and prayed. It was then that God did something spectacular (nothing new for Him of course)! I felt a nudge in my spirit to stretch out both of my hands in an attitude of receiving. So, I did. I felt the Lord tell me that he was placing ten coins in my right hand and five coins in the other. He asked me which felt heavier. I felt a weight pierce through the palm of my left hand and my arm suddenly grew weak. I questioned this. Clearly, he had placed more coins in my right hand. I shuffled around in my back pack for my Bible, the living, breathing Word, and randomly opened to Matthew 25:14-30.

I am sure many of you are familiar with the parable Jesus told about the man who distributed his "talents" (a form of currency) to his three servants. As the story goes, he had plans to be away from his place of residence for some time. Before doing so, he left five talents with one servant. To the second servant, he gave two talents. Finally, the third servant received one talent. Scripture states he gave "to each according to his own ability." (Matthew 25:15) The man returns after some time and expects each servant to account for the money that was given him. The first two servants reveal to their lord that they invested the talents and received double their portion in interest. Their lord responds stating, "Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord." (Matthew 25:23) Then it was time for the third servant to account for the coin that was given to him. He admits to his lord that he buried his one talent because he was "afraid". (Matthew 25:25 [para]) "But his lord answered and said to him, 'You wicked and lazy servant, you knew that I reap where I have not sown, and gather where I have not scattered seed. So you ought to have deposited my money with the bankers, and at my coming I would have received back my own with interest." (Matthew 25:27) At the end of the parable, their lord takes the one talent from the last servant and gives it to the servant that has ten. He then casts out the "unprofitable" servant into "outer darkness". (Matthew 25:30 [para])

I encourage you readers to apply this scripture to your personal walk with God. We are all the Lord's servants, in whom He has entrusted particular talents. We may choose to sow these talents into the kingdom of heaven or not. That is our choice. I am not necessarily talking about our monetary investment. I am more or less referring to time invested, using the gifts God has dipersed amongst us to edify one another and most importantly, to reap a harvest of souls. "'The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.'" (Matthew 9:37-38) Just as the parable states, the end result was what mattered to the lord of the servants. They were productive and fruitful, pleasing him, and compelling him to bless them in ways they had never imagined. The Lord will continue to expand your ministry if he can trust you with what he has already entrusted you with.

Your neighbor's list of credentials may go on for days but never allow that to diminish what lies within you. Our gifts are not to be compared with one another. All that God is concerned about is our attitude and willingness to serve. Maybe we have the gift of helps. Scripture states, "'And whoever gives one of these little ones only a cup of cold water in the name of a disciple, assuredly, I say to you, he shall by no means lose his reward.'" (Matthew 10:42) Jesus is telling us here that offering up a cup of cold water to a fellow brethren is by no means miniscule in His eyes. It is not overlooked. How much you pour into that cup is not as significant as your desire to offer it to someone in need.

It is apparent in John Milton's poem that he was tormented by the implications of the parable Jesus revealed through scripture. Like the last servant who buried his talent, he fears that his lack in obedience is what led to his blindness. He has wasted precious years pouring dirt over his gift, the very thing that drives him to write. As a result, he believes that the Lord took away his sight, leaving him with nothing left but to consider how his light [or life] should have been spent.

All of our deliberating can be debilitating. Instead of pondering on the how's, where's, and why's. Ask yourself this question: Is there a talent I have buried because of laziness, procrastination, feelings of inferiority, or just plain fear? Remember that God has granted us these gifts. Just as the Lord gave, the Lord can also take away. (Job 1:21 [para]) Have you ever wondered why you lose passion or zeal when you walk away from your calling? I attribute it to what was revealed through scripture. You can hide your gifts for so long, but that would be destructive and unfruitful. You can choose to use your gifts for selfish motives, but remember if you are not using them to serve, then they serve no purpose!

I oftentimes battle procrastination and, just like Milton, wonder about the greater influence I could have in the world around me if I spent more time shining my light and less time spending it in the darkness of fear. I suppose my fear rises out of insecurities that my "one talent" is just too insignificant to make a difference. But I intend to remind myself, and I pray you do the same, that for every "one talent" I bury, one soul remains blind. That is a huge burden to bear, far greater than my own insecurities. I, like the two servants in the parable, want to make my Lord proud and as a result enjoy the service-filled, purpose-driven life God has for me.