I sat beside his bedpost and wept. How could this be? Just days ago we spoke, a conversation that ended abruptly though after we exasperated one another on the only topic that sets fire to my veins, turning my blood to a quick boil. We had recently spent a grueling few weeks engaged in a tug-of-war match, vying for the prize of spending time with our son. In my self-righteous opinion, his actions forfeited him this privilege. This man represented my past and I despised him for that. You see, I exhausted several years of my life in a twisted mind game, surrendering to the deceit of folly when I should have been commending this person to the tender love and forgiveness of the Father. But, the mind flirts and often reverts our attention to a self-inflicted pity party and in attendance are all of our trespassers. For me, this meant one person--a man whom I loved in my youth. I often replayed the projector slide in my mind, each scene vividly depicting exactly how I was trespassed against, believing that I could find some kind of relief by looking back. Somewhere in the past, I can justify the present. Somewhere in the past, I pity the young woman who lies helpless on the floor. Somewhere in the past, I am not responsible for bitter resentment. He is.
But then the tables turned. I peered upon the hospital bed before me where the antagonist of my story lay helpless now. I wept and inside every tear drop was the antidote to the sting of unforgiveness. I wept healing.
I made tireless attempts to dismiss the sequence of events that led up to this very moment. If only they could vanish at the snap of a finger and the flick of a wrist. I wanted my presence to blend in with the present because here my battle wounds were unrecognizable. I wanted to be "normal", but soon enough people who knew anything about me would notice that I carried dead weight. I often referred to him as my ball and chain, but little did I know that the burden I lugged around didn't follow me. It was inside me. Locked up in a box I stashed deep in my heart was the one word I could never quite identify with--unforgiveness. But, oh to stare down the harsh reality peering back at me through eyes mirrored on plexiglass! These eyes no longer burned with infuriation though. Instead they sulked back in remorse as compassion stirred within my spirit. In a sequence of events that would soon take place, compassion began to tug at the lock box and then successfully pried it open. Unforgiveness was set free and relinquished into the hands of my Maker. A sigh of relief fluttered from my lips as the weight had been lifted and all the while I could hear the Lord say, "It took you long enough"!
It is often in tragedy that our lives make a 180 degree turn on its axis, giving way to a newly found perspective. In His masterful plan to create peace and order out of my chaotic mess, I watched God's hands piece together the broken vase, a now beautiful mosaic. It is here that I am reminded of scripture that states, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). It was just months ago that I held the fractured pieces in my hand in my own attempt to make things right. But, I let them all go the day I received the news...
In a matter of minutes, my whole world changed. I found myself frequenting John Hopkins' ICU, concerned about the man whom I once couldn't stand to be around. Now, I couldn't stand to be apart from him, wanting to ease the pain of his afflictions. After one of my visits to the hospital, I called a dear friend of mine who happens to be a pastor, desperately seeking her counsel. I first entreated her for prayer regarding his condition and then I asked a simple question that catalyzed a series of events. "Should I get involved any further?" I felt a pit in my stomach and then silence broke forth. She started to softly answer by stating, "Be the good Samaritan". She went on to liken the parable to our situation. To set the record straight, I am in no means trying to compare myself with the good Samaritan, but I share this pertinent detail to reveal how God's word shed light on His desired answer.
In Luke 10:25-37, Jesus encounters a lawyer who interrogates Him about the way in which one inherits eternal life. Jesus responds by stating, "'What is written in the law? What is your reading of it?'" The lawyer gives a summary of the OT law stating, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind', and 'your neighbor as yourself.'" Jesus states that he is correct, but the lawyer inquires even further, "'Who is my neighbor?'". Jesus responds by sharing the parable about the good Samaritan.
As the story goes, there was a certain Jewish man on his way from Jerusalem to Jericho who was met by thieves. They robbed him and left him half dead on the side of the road. A priest and a Levite both happened to walk down the road where the Jewish man lay, but didn't stop for him. However, a Samaritan who also journeyed down this path had compassion for the man. He went to him, bandaged him, and brought him to an inn to ensure his safety through the night. Jesus then asks the lawyer whom of the three men was the Jewish man's neighbor. The lawyer responds by stating, "'He who showed mercy on him'". Jesus tells him, "'Go and do likewise'".
Those who heard this parable professed from Jesus' lips knew the backdrop of the story. The Jews and the Samaritans had been at odds with another for a long time. They avoided each other at all cost. Using the example of the Samaritan man, Jesus made clear what the law (now written upon our hearts) truly means--not only are we to love our friends, family, and our acquaintances as ourselves, but we are also to love our enemies just the same. Jesus' death broke any barrier causing division amongst humanity and even greater still reconciled us to God. It is out of the great love God has for us, that He gave His Son to forgive us our sins. Love and forgiveness go hand in hand. We aren't called to love only when it's convenient. We are called to love under all circumstances. On the same token, to bear this love (Jesus' love) means we should have no room in our hearts for unforgiveness.
Forgiveness is a vital ingredient in Christ's recipe to fruitful living. It is so essential to our walk that scripture tells us this: "If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:14-15). Unforgiveness is like a cloud that hovers over a dying plant. The plant needs sunlight in order to rejuvenate its lifeless form, but has no means to survive (let alone be fruitful) so long as it's cut off from its life line. In the same manner, unforgiveness stunts our spiritual maturation. The longer we let it fester in our hearts, the farther removed we are from the Father. If God forgave our filthy, sinful nature, how can we not turn the other cheek to our neighbor?
As I glanced down at the man I had condemned for years, I thought about the Samaritan who looked upon the Jewish man lying helpless on the road. I took his hand in mine and prayed. I prayed for healing and a manifestation of the Lord's presence in his life. As for myself, I prayed that Jesus would show me how to extend mercy just as he instructed the lawyer to do in scripture. I prayed that He would search my heart and cast out any accusatory thought in the same way he dismissed the accusers of the adulterous woman, turning what would have been a public execution into a public display of Christ's love. God not only healed the man whom I now call my friend, but he healed my heart, which became a public demonstration just the same. That's exactly what forgiveness does. It wipes us clean of any residue reminiscent of condemnation and shines the Lord's radiant light through us for all to see. If I remained stifled by unforgiveness, what kind of witness would I be?
Mercy ushers out love that flows from the cross, looking for every opportunity to draw others to its refreshing water. This love takes no account of righteousness, race, or social status. In God's eyes, we are all alike. We all enter into this world in the same manner--born in sin. However, through Christ, we can be reconciled to Him. God deals out mercy daily and it is in the forgiveness he extends to us that we are empowered to forgive others. We are called to put off "bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking, and malice" (Ephesians 4:31). Instead, we are to "put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do" (Colossians 3:12-13).
It is the power of the cross that led this bitter soul to the sweet taste of forgiveness. It is the power of the cross that led a lost soul into the arms of his Father. It is the power of the cross that revealed to us both the great love and tender mercy our Father has for His children.
Now, I no longer reach toward the Son, shadowed by the cloud of unforgiveness, but instead reach with anticipation to feel the warmth of His radiant glory!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
At the Crossroads
There are times when we reach a crossroad in our life that forces us to hit the pause button. It is in those times that we feel the need to evaluate our surroundings, entreat the Lord for clarity, and look back at the progress we've made from where we came. It is at the crossroads where lives are transformed, yokes are destroyed, and families are restored. It is also at the crossroads where destruction hides it's ugly face, addictions persist, and failures ensue. It is here where we are given a choice. God will never impose His divine will upon us. He works in our hearts to prepare us for this moment. But, whether we choose left or right is ultimately our decision. One road leads to righteousness and the other leads to regret. We may hit the pause button, freeze frame, and delay, but I encourage us all to contemplate the length of our days. James 4:14 states, "...you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away". You don't have eternity to decide where you will spend eternity. Are you still dancing around the biggest decision you will ever make in your life? Will you choose Him?
God wants you...all of you. Therefore, we are either for Him or against Him. There is no middle ground. Jesus addresses those who exercise lukewarm faith by stating, "I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." (Revelation 3:15-16) I know this is a tough scripture to sink our teeth into and the image it evokes is a bit grotesque, however, I believe it necessary as Jesus illustrates the seriousness of the matter. As it makes His stomach turn to watch us play the harlot, we should understand that our God is a jealous God. We walk a very thin wire, giving way beneath us, when we turn our affections toward false idols. This can include our relationships with other people. When do we finally realize that there is no man, woman, nor material possession that can fill the void deep within? Every time we try to satisfy our inner-longing for something more with something new, such as a new look, the latest technological gadget, a new boyfriend/girlfriend or new ways to keep them, we bow down to a lie the enemy has imposed on the human race since the fall of man. The lie is craftily devised and quite simple: feed your need by any means necessary. But no matter how much we feed the bottomless vat, we wind up even emptier than when we began. The common denominator missing in all of our tireless efforts to create "happiness" is the only piece of the equation that fits--God.
For those of us who know Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior yet still struggle with this, it is time for repentance. Our Heavenly Father does not relent from engaging us into relationship with Him. He may chasten us the way a good father should, but He does so in love. Later in the same passage drawn from Revelation 3, Jesus states in verses 19-22, "As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. Behold I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. He who has an ear, let him hear...".
The day "I heard" was after I met a young woman in my biology lab class in my freshman year of college. She and I became friends over late night cram sessions before exams. I remember thinking her odd as she would smile about everything, including the C she received on a paper she labored over for weeks. She was overly gracious and in all of our conversations, she reflected the love of Christ. She was (and prayerfully still is) zealous for the Lord. She was enamored by Him and couldn't help but to mention His name at every opportune time. I too had a heart for the Lord as I had recently been "saved", but I was still trying to gain my footing on the fence. I wasn't ready to give up everything, including occasional partying and weekends spent at my boyfriend's house. Admittedly, there were far too many distractions in the way of giving my heart fully to its Pursuer. She and I never became too close for this very reason. I feared she would judge me and frown upon my lifestyle choices. Now I understand the truth behind my shame. She was bearing the light that exposed the dark in my life. One day, very frankly, she said to me, "You can't live a double-life. Being lukewarm in your faith is just the same as if you were on the side of the adversary." I remember thinking how harsh those words felt. They plunged into my heart and twisted it around in knots. Now I realize that it was the Holy Spirit convicting me. Unfortunately, those words didn't register until years later. But, praise God for His incessant knocking until I finally answered. Now I've come to understand the real zeal! If I ever ran into my college comrade again, I would thank her for being so concerned with my soul. When we put God first, His priorities become our own. She was ministering to this lost soul in our every encounter and I had no idea of it at the time. I thank God now for her obedience!
I would like you to consider a passage in the Bible from 1 Kings 13. There was an unnamed man of God called to the city of Bethel where a shrine had been established by King Jeroboam. This king of Israel encouraged his subjects to bring their offerings to the altar he erected. In addition to practicing idolatry, the king made his own sacrifices at the altar and chose priests outside of the tribe of Levi, which was against the Lord's commandment. (Ref 1 Kings 12:25-33) The man of God was strategically called to this location in order to proclaim the destruction of the altar under King Josiah. King Jeroboam heard this and commanded that the prophet be arrested. However, after a demonstration of God's powerful anointing over this man's life, the king invited him to his home. The man, faithfully abiding by the Lord's command, refused to go. Prior to his arrival at Bethel, the Lord had instructed him, "You shall not eat bread, nor drink water, nor return by the same way you came." (1 Kings 13:9)
So, the man of God did not return from where he came but continued to travel further. During his journey, he was met by a prophet who (lying) said that he received a word from an angel to invite the man of God into his home. The man of God trustingly followed him back to his house where they both ate and drank. As he was sitting at the table, the prophet received a word from the Lord, stating that because the man of God disobeyed the Lord's commandment, his corpse would not return to his father's tomb. The man departed from the prophet's home and was eaten by a lion on the road shortly after.
When I first read this passage, I sympathized with the man of God. He had been deceived by a fellow prophet. However, after reading the passage a few times over, I put aside my emotions and gleaned a shimmering morsel of truth, something I can identify with in my own prayer life. The man of God made a sad mistake. He trusted the counsel of man over the counsel of God. It was with good reason that God had instructed him to follow the path He had ordained. For one, the man of God would have hindered the advancement of the Lord's work if he returned from where he came. In addition, stopping for food and water would distract him from fulfilling God's greater plan and purpose. In this historical account, it ultimately led to his demise. Do you find that you sometimes trust fellow man more than our all-knowing and all-seeing God?
It is oftentimes at the crossroads that we lose our footing, sliding down the slippery slope to destruction when we aren't studying God's word or spending time in His presence. If we are bombarded with distractions, place our personal list of priorities before Him, and depend upon the advice and counsel of others, we fall victim to the lies and deceit of the enemy. And yes, we can be deceived even within the church. Scripture tells us, "For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light" (2 Corinthians 11:14). It is through studying the word of God and spending time in prayer that we become better acquainted with our Maker and can therefore readily discern and guard ourselves against the counterfeit. We will feel empowered by the Holy Spirit to embark on the road less traveled when we choose the path that lead us into God's presence daily.
Do you find yourself at the crossroads? Before you take one step, I encourage you, just as the Lord commanded the man of God, "do not return by the same way you came". In addition, silence the invitations from anyone but your Heavenly Father. For He knows what's best for you. He has been incessantly knocking and patiently waiting for you to answer just so He can offer His love to you at no cost. His affections for you aren't determined by your social status, intelligence, or beauty. Isn't it liberating to know this? Be still while your heart seeks His face and He will reveal Himself to you. He will even give you a glimpse into the life He has tailor designed just for you. There is so much purpose and promise waiting on the other side of your decision for Him. Contrary to what you may think, His way is far more exhilarating, unpredictable, and adventurous than we could ever imagine. Get ready for the ride of your life with Jesus Christ by your side and as your guide!
God wants you...all of you. Therefore, we are either for Him or against Him. There is no middle ground. Jesus addresses those who exercise lukewarm faith by stating, "I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth." (Revelation 3:15-16) I know this is a tough scripture to sink our teeth into and the image it evokes is a bit grotesque, however, I believe it necessary as Jesus illustrates the seriousness of the matter. As it makes His stomach turn to watch us play the harlot, we should understand that our God is a jealous God. We walk a very thin wire, giving way beneath us, when we turn our affections toward false idols. This can include our relationships with other people. When do we finally realize that there is no man, woman, nor material possession that can fill the void deep within? Every time we try to satisfy our inner-longing for something more with something new, such as a new look, the latest technological gadget, a new boyfriend/girlfriend or new ways to keep them, we bow down to a lie the enemy has imposed on the human race since the fall of man. The lie is craftily devised and quite simple: feed your need by any means necessary. But no matter how much we feed the bottomless vat, we wind up even emptier than when we began. The common denominator missing in all of our tireless efforts to create "happiness" is the only piece of the equation that fits--God.
For those of us who know Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Savior yet still struggle with this, it is time for repentance. Our Heavenly Father does not relent from engaging us into relationship with Him. He may chasten us the way a good father should, but He does so in love. Later in the same passage drawn from Revelation 3, Jesus states in verses 19-22, "As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. Behold I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. He who has an ear, let him hear...".
The day "I heard" was after I met a young woman in my biology lab class in my freshman year of college. She and I became friends over late night cram sessions before exams. I remember thinking her odd as she would smile about everything, including the C she received on a paper she labored over for weeks. She was overly gracious and in all of our conversations, she reflected the love of Christ. She was (and prayerfully still is) zealous for the Lord. She was enamored by Him and couldn't help but to mention His name at every opportune time. I too had a heart for the Lord as I had recently been "saved", but I was still trying to gain my footing on the fence. I wasn't ready to give up everything, including occasional partying and weekends spent at my boyfriend's house. Admittedly, there were far too many distractions in the way of giving my heart fully to its Pursuer. She and I never became too close for this very reason. I feared she would judge me and frown upon my lifestyle choices. Now I understand the truth behind my shame. She was bearing the light that exposed the dark in my life. One day, very frankly, she said to me, "You can't live a double-life. Being lukewarm in your faith is just the same as if you were on the side of the adversary." I remember thinking how harsh those words felt. They plunged into my heart and twisted it around in knots. Now I realize that it was the Holy Spirit convicting me. Unfortunately, those words didn't register until years later. But, praise God for His incessant knocking until I finally answered. Now I've come to understand the real zeal! If I ever ran into my college comrade again, I would thank her for being so concerned with my soul. When we put God first, His priorities become our own. She was ministering to this lost soul in our every encounter and I had no idea of it at the time. I thank God now for her obedience!
I would like you to consider a passage in the Bible from 1 Kings 13. There was an unnamed man of God called to the city of Bethel where a shrine had been established by King Jeroboam. This king of Israel encouraged his subjects to bring their offerings to the altar he erected. In addition to practicing idolatry, the king made his own sacrifices at the altar and chose priests outside of the tribe of Levi, which was against the Lord's commandment. (Ref 1 Kings 12:25-33) The man of God was strategically called to this location in order to proclaim the destruction of the altar under King Josiah. King Jeroboam heard this and commanded that the prophet be arrested. However, after a demonstration of God's powerful anointing over this man's life, the king invited him to his home. The man, faithfully abiding by the Lord's command, refused to go. Prior to his arrival at Bethel, the Lord had instructed him, "You shall not eat bread, nor drink water, nor return by the same way you came." (1 Kings 13:9)
So, the man of God did not return from where he came but continued to travel further. During his journey, he was met by a prophet who (lying) said that he received a word from an angel to invite the man of God into his home. The man of God trustingly followed him back to his house where they both ate and drank. As he was sitting at the table, the prophet received a word from the Lord, stating that because the man of God disobeyed the Lord's commandment, his corpse would not return to his father's tomb. The man departed from the prophet's home and was eaten by a lion on the road shortly after.
When I first read this passage, I sympathized with the man of God. He had been deceived by a fellow prophet. However, after reading the passage a few times over, I put aside my emotions and gleaned a shimmering morsel of truth, something I can identify with in my own prayer life. The man of God made a sad mistake. He trusted the counsel of man over the counsel of God. It was with good reason that God had instructed him to follow the path He had ordained. For one, the man of God would have hindered the advancement of the Lord's work if he returned from where he came. In addition, stopping for food and water would distract him from fulfilling God's greater plan and purpose. In this historical account, it ultimately led to his demise. Do you find that you sometimes trust fellow man more than our all-knowing and all-seeing God?
It is oftentimes at the crossroads that we lose our footing, sliding down the slippery slope to destruction when we aren't studying God's word or spending time in His presence. If we are bombarded with distractions, place our personal list of priorities before Him, and depend upon the advice and counsel of others, we fall victim to the lies and deceit of the enemy. And yes, we can be deceived even within the church. Scripture tells us, "For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light" (2 Corinthians 11:14). It is through studying the word of God and spending time in prayer that we become better acquainted with our Maker and can therefore readily discern and guard ourselves against the counterfeit. We will feel empowered by the Holy Spirit to embark on the road less traveled when we choose the path that lead us into God's presence daily.
Do you find yourself at the crossroads? Before you take one step, I encourage you, just as the Lord commanded the man of God, "do not return by the same way you came". In addition, silence the invitations from anyone but your Heavenly Father. For He knows what's best for you. He has been incessantly knocking and patiently waiting for you to answer just so He can offer His love to you at no cost. His affections for you aren't determined by your social status, intelligence, or beauty. Isn't it liberating to know this? Be still while your heart seeks His face and He will reveal Himself to you. He will even give you a glimpse into the life He has tailor designed just for you. There is so much purpose and promise waiting on the other side of your decision for Him. Contrary to what you may think, His way is far more exhilarating, unpredictable, and adventurous than we could ever imagine. Get ready for the ride of your life with Jesus Christ by your side and as your guide!
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